All posts by Mitch Mitchell

I'm an independent consultant in many fields, so I have a lot to share.

Sunday Question – Are We Allowed To Acknowledge Beauty Anymore?

There are a lot of attractive people in the world. Friday night my wife and I were at the mall, and you can see so many people who have dressed very nicely, taken care with their hair, and are absolutely stunning. Okay, for me it’s the women; for my wife, it’s the men, although she will acknowledge when a woman looks good. Yes, she’s confident like that. She will even go up to some women to compliment them about their looks.

As a guy, especially an older one, I can’t do that unless she’s next to me. Independently, if I did that I’d be labeled a pervert, dirty old man, or some other missive. This isn’t uncommon, by the way. If I dared to say anything nice to someone about their appearance on Twitter or Facebook, unless I knew them already, I’d either be ignored or someone would take offense.

Is seems that men aren’t allowed to acknowledge when we find someone attractive anymore. I have a friend who I was having a discussion with once who said that when she dresses nice she only wants certain men to tell her she looks good. I said if you dressed nice everyone would look, so how could she separate which ones should be allowed to say something to her or not. She stated something like “they should just know”; what is that? lol

You see a lot of attractive images of women on Twitter. Sure, half of them are fake; not fake women, but you know the account isn’t really owned by a woman, but by some guy who’s put the image of a woman on as his avatar hoping you’ll go ahead and add him so he can bombard you with sales stuff. It’s pretty easy to tell, yet I see many of my friends following these people, and I know it’s because of the image. We acknowledge that sex sells by falling for things like this.

But when it’s legitimate… look, I’m certainly not saying that the first conversation you have with someone on Twitter is talking about how they look. I’m not really even sure that it’s ever proper to say something like this to someone you’ve never said anything else to. Maybe there are times when one is allowed to do it, but those times seem so far and in between.

What are your thoughts? Are the days gone when one is allowed to acknowledge beauty (without being a pig), or do you see where one might be able to say something nice without being seen as a pervert?

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How Some Bloggers View Commenters

Wednesday I participated in something that’s called Community Manager Chat. The moderators of the chat, which occurs on Twitter every Wednesday at 2PM Eastern Standard time with the hashtag #cmgrchat, always have a general topic, and 4 questions during the hour, and those who want to participate can and do so, while other just read what’s going on.

by Andrew Feinberg

The topic on Wednesday was blogging, which y’all know I feel I know fairly well, and thus I got to participate a lot. At one point the question came up as to whether people who wrote blogs responded to comments on those blog. I wrote that I respond to almost every comment, especially for first time visitors, and I found that wasn’t quite the norm from many people, even those whose blogs don’t get many comments at all.

Some people were fascinated that I respond to almost everything. Some people felt that most comments were just some form of “I agree”, and thus didn’t deserve responses. Are you kidding me? Who here remembers my post about feeling ignored?

Here’s my position. I believe that every person who visits the blog and leaves at least a little bit of substance deserves a response. I also believe if someone’s way off topic then it’s probably spam and it’s getting deleted; that’s why I have a comment policy. Now, there are times when I don’t respond to a post that I wrote more than 6 months ago, but that’s pretty rare. And I might not respond to a one line post from someone I know; I never leave one line comments on anyone’s blog unless we’re having a bit of a banter back and forth. Will that potentially change if any of my blogs ever got to the point where they were averaging 200 comments a day? Hey, let’s find out! lol

I expect y’all know I appreciate you, even when we disagree. Civility really does have a place in this world. You visit my crib, I’m going to offer you something. Maybe not my chocolate cake, but something. 🙂 You can always count on that. So think about it; how are you treating the people who visit your blog?

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Adbusters; What The Hey?

I always figure I’m in trouble when I don’t understand something, go to research it, and still come away scratching my head. That’s the story with an organization and website I just discovered called Adbusters.

Adbusters is an organization that says it’s anti-consumerist. I had no idea what that meant so I went to Wikipedia and it said this: “Anti-consumerism refers to the socio-political movement against the equating of personal happiness with consumption and the purchase of material possessions.” Uhhh, isn’t that communism, or am I just simplifying it?

No matter. That’s what the group is against, and their website… well, I haven’t quite figured it out, I must admit. It actually looks like it might be a lot of fun if it didn’t make me have to think quite so much, and I usually love thinking. It’s almost as if it’s working too hard to be funny or clever; I don’t quite get it. Having said that, I did kind of like this image I found; click on it if you’d like to see it larger:

As I said, I don’t get the group, and I don’t get the website. It quotes people like Flaubert (major league pervert & nasty guy who got lucky to write one famous book) and Solzhenitsyn (Nobel Prize winner for literature who told it like it was about the USSR back then, before being deported), seems to campaign against capitalism and the rights of people to own things while asking people for donations; seems there’s something to needing money to fund one’s weird thoughts. They have both a magazine and a newsletter, and they sell the magazine; that would seem to go against their principles as well. They have some videos that highlight things they don’t like, a blog, and something they call Spoof Ads; I only found one of them funny. And they hide their PR and Alexa rank; at least they tried, as I found their Alexa rank sitting around 67,000, and they have a bounce rate of 81%; seems I’m not the only one who doesn’t get it.

You know what; just take a look at the site and let me know what you think. I’m not quite sure why it’s bothering me, but it is. I’d like to know if you can figure out why, because frankly I’m stumped.

By the way, I’ve watched the movie below 8 times since I bought it Saturday, and I’d seen it twice at the theaters; buy this! 🙂

How To Train Your Dragon

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Klout Revisited

Tuesday night on Twitter, some of the local folks started talking about Klout as a way to determine whether someone was good enough to be dating or not. Although they were having a lot of fun, and I chimed in, I wondered why my score hadn’t changed since the first time I wrote about it back in March of this year.

For a quick update, Klout is a service that supposedly helps you to see just how much influence you have online. To be fair, it only measures your influence as it pertains to Twitter and Facebook, so in a way you have to take it with a grain of salt. If you have 20,000 RSS subscribers to your blog but aren’t on Twitter, it will say you have no influence at all.

Still, I do a lot of Twitter, and thus I want my influence to be higher. It was still sitting on 56, so I mentioned it, and two of the people I talk to all the time said I could go to the second page and do a refresh. I didn’t have the refresh, so I did some reading and it turns out you have to register and let it access your Twitter page so it can actually start figuring things out. I had never registered, so the program was probably just guessing at things. I figured why not; what could it hurt?

I hooked up and it did its thing, and, well, suddenly my Klout score was 28. What the hey? I’d lost half my ranking by registering; that didn’t make me happy at all. Then I saw where you could add Facebook, and I had to think about that one a bit. The last thing I wanted was that score showing up on either Twitter or Facebook. I went ahead and added Facebook, since I learned I could go to Facebook and tell it not to broadcast anything from the website about me or Klout in general. That brought my score up 6 points to 34.

I still am not necessarily happy with that score, but I have learned that it grows or falls based on what’s going on with your accounts as time goes by. So, it seems the initial score I got back in March didn’t really measure what I do on these services. Also, it took last week’s information to help build its records, and last week I was out of town and on Twitter and Facebook rarely. So, I figure next weekend I’ll have it recalculate things, as you can only do that once a week.

I’m not going to get into all the ways it measures one’s information because they’ve written it all up on the site, which I really didn’t pay much attention to before. I will say this, though; I’m going to be checking it out for at least the next few months, because I want to see if it actually does grow with real activity. Now, one thing I does is checks to see who’s retweeting posts or comments on Twitter, so if y’all like anything I’m saying or doing please retweet when you can.

Man, growing influence really is hard, isn’t it?

Flip-Top M&M Dracula Halloween Candy Jar

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The Know-It-All Discussion

There was a post on the blog Search Engine Journal titled Get Rid Of Villains In Social Media Infographic that had this really large image based on an article written by another guy named Todd Helm, of the same blog, titled 8 Villains Of Social Media. It was an interesting take on the type of people who basically irritate most of us because they’re not really trying to be social, but trying to get on our nerves. What he did was identify types, then write his suggestions for how to handle these folks.

I don’t want to list all 8 types, because I think you might enjoy reading the article, and there’s some humor there as well, but I did want to take on one of the types because, oddly enough, I wrote about the type in my book on management and leadership, Embrace The Lead, which you see over there to the left.

That one type is called the know-it-all, and Helm states this:

The Know-it-all rarely comments unless it’s to disagree with or correct the content producer or another user’s comment. They’re generally great fact checkers and revel in correcting a specific fact, but would rather argue about opinions. They also love to point out grammatical errors.”

In my book, I wrote this:

…this person, unfortunately, is usually one of your worst nightmares rather than your biggest helper. If they don’t really know it all, it doesn’t stop them from telling you that they fully understand when they don’t. They’re also the first ones to try to help someone else understand how to do something, and invariably it’s incorrect because they didn’t fully understand it themselves. Of course there’s the know-it-all who really does know a large bit of it, and they want to take every opportunity to show people that they indeed know it all, to the point that they end up taking over and intimidating other employees. Know-it-all’s also are always interrupting you; they can destroy the flow of a meeting if not handled properly.”

So, we have a minor disagreements in how know-it-all’s act, because I’ve never known a know-it-all who isn’t always sharing an opinion or trying to correct someone, even if they’re wrong. As a matter of fact, I have someone in mind right now that I did a consulting assignment with, who would throw out all these “facts” that often I had to counter, and when I’d counter them he’d change up and say something like “oh, I was talking about _____, but you’re right, in that instance you’d do what you said to do.” Please! lol

Then Helm gave this thought to beating a know-it-all:

Strong (yet modest) arguments. It’s nearly impossible to change the mind of the Know-it-all. Your best bet is to respond to them with rational arguments that present a strong case in a modest tone. Let their arrogance and opinionated argument work against them making you look like the rational, impartial one to everyone else.”

That’s not bad, but as a point of comparison I wrote this:

There are a few ways to deal with this type of individual, but the best is to let them have their say, regardless of the situation; at least initially. If they’re the type that’s always wrong, your employees will see this person for what they are and recognize that they’re not as smart as they feel they are. At some point they won’t waste their time going to this person for assistance. Also, this gives you a great opportunity to correct them in a group setting in such a manner that they won’t see it as your trying to show them up, unless you intend to do that, and people will generally benefit because some of them had probably thought along the same lines themselves, but were going to stay silent.”

I actually wrote a lot more than that, but this is enough for comparison’s sake. In this case, we kind of agree on the strategy of letting them hang themselves in spouting information that’s incorrect and then telling everyone what the truth really is. Sure, they might come back for a second round, but most people are rational enough to see when a know-it-all is scrambling to save some of their self respect.

Of course, I do acknowledge that Helm and I are writing for different audiences here, since he’s writing to blogging folks and I’m writing to managers, but the concept is still the same overall. I’m not going to lie; I’d love being a know-it-all. I just know that I don’t know it all, and sometimes these days I feel like I’ve forgotten more than I used to know; scary. But the one thing I hope separates me from a true know-it-all is that, except for this blog, I don’t have the yearn to show it off all the time. Sure, there are times when I’ve gotten what my wife says is a little bit mean spirited and crushed someone who irked me, but in general I like to think that, unless it’s an egregious error, I’ll let stuff slide (of course, Sire’s going to come back and say I’m always pointing out errors on his blog, but he does it for me as well).

What are your thoughts on know-it-all’s in general? And please, make sure you check out both the infographic and Helm’s post as well.

Trivial Pursuit Bet You Know It Edition

Trivial Pursuit – Bet You Know It Edition

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