The First Year Of My Grandmother’s Passing

Last year on August 25th, at this very time, my grandmother, Hazel Beverly, passed away. She was 90 years old, and she had a pretty good life as an adult, even if there were some years before that which were pretty tough. Yet she wasn’t the type to ever complain about anything; she was the epitome of cool. If you’d like to see any of what I wrote last year about this, you can check here and here.

You know, I almost missed this anniversary, and I feel kind of ashamed of that. It’s not that I didn’t remember the date; it’s that I wasn’t sure what the date was now. One of those things that happens when you work for yourself is that sometimes you have no idea what the date is. Sometimes you don’t even know what day it is, but I knew what day it was because I always know when Friday comes. Even though things have changed, there’s something about Fridays that I absolutely love.

You know, sometimes we get engrossed in so many things that we forget things that should be important to us. In this case it doesn’t mean that the first year of my grandmother’s passing wasn’t important; it’s that for whatever reason it’s not relevant in my life and that’s depressing. I remember dates all the time. I remember my dad’s birthday and when he passed away. I remember my mom’s birthday, as well as my wife’s. Heck, I know the date my wife and I met, December 7th 1994.

But these days everything comes down to planning and what’s planned. I have all the dates I need to remember in my Palm or phone. I just hadn’t remembered to put this date in my calendar; so unlike me.

I bring all of this up because next week I have a post going live that talks about some things I’m going to be working on, in a way. There are plans, and there are time frames. All of these things will be important to me over the next year.

But what can’t be lost in any of this are the personal things. Family, health, motivation… things people often forget when they’re working on their professional life. We all have to consistent work on ourselves, and that includes our family, friends, and anyone else we feel is important to our lives.

Or our past. I hope your rest has been peaceful so far Miss Hazel; miss you.
 

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25 comments on “The First Year Of My Grandmother’s Passing

  • Beautiful post and tribute Mitch!

    Sorry to know about your grandmother, but it’s nice that you remember her fondly. 🙂

    I guess the ones closest to our hearts always remain with us, and they become our guardian angels – isn’t it? I say this because I also lost my Mom to cancer a few years back, though I find her very close to me, more so, when I am not feeling that good about things.

    We all tend to forget things sometimes or the other. I for one never remembers dates and have them all fed into my phone too, which reminds me whenever their turn comes up. I guess that’s the easiest way nowadays. And yes, while we work and get involved in things, we can’t neglect our family, kids, and home. Everything needs to go hand in hand as they say. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing and looking forward to what’s in your new plan. 🙂
    Harleena Singh recently posted…Why Fuss About a Good HabitMy Profile

  • Holly Jahangiri says:

    Mitch, I wouldn’t presume to give you a message from your grandmother – I’m not a medium and I never met the woman. But I’m pretty sure she’d tell you that it’s not the anniversary of her death that should be “important” to you, and that she’d be kind of happy you were able to put that one out of your mind. Think about it – that doesn’t mean you’ve put HER out of your mind. Doesn’t mean you’ve cast aside the good times or life lessons she was able to give you. Nope – just one sad date out of all those shared memories that are better than that.

    I think she’d want you to focus on the good times ahead, and to know that everything she was able to give you of herself is all still in there, like it ever was.
    Holly Jahangiri recently posted…It Really IS a All a Matter of Perspective!My Profile

    • She might say that Holly but it would never happen; the forgetting part I mean. I just don’t forget dates, as you saw in the rest of the post. My mother and I went out this year on her birthday also; it’s what we do. Actually, I’m not overly sad as I was with my dad. Dad was still pretty vibrant until the cancer reached his mind. My grandmother was declining over her last 3 years and the weight was heavy on Mom. I miss her from the earlier days because not only was she funny, but she filled in family history that my mother wouldn’t talk about. And she was the coolest woman you could have ever met.

  • Michael Belk @workplace issues says:

    Mitch, I understand your indifference to remembering the date vs how important it is to you, I have lost love ones but the fact that you lose track of the date does not mean it became less important in your life.

    Sometimes when we get over our lost, we realize we do not want to relive that moment, but you can if you are strong enough and we have dealt with the loss.

    • Thanks Michael. Actually, a part of this is a reflection on myself that I didn’t even know what yesterday’s date was and that I was happy to have been reminded so I didn’t miss honoring my grandmother on this anniversary. You know, just like we have memorials for veterans and the like, that’s how I view these other things.

  • Charles Gulotta says:

    I remember that post vividly, Mitch, and it’s hard to believe it was a year ago. I understand how you feel. A few very significant dates have slipped past me lately, and I’m surprised each time, because they represent events that were traumatic, life-changing, or just plain sad. Maybe we need to acknowledge that as we get older, we accumulate more and more of these events, and that makes it increasingly difficult to feel the impact of each one. And of course, as time passes, the pain of loss lessens. They say that’s a healthy thing, and I guess it is. It doesn’t mean we’re insensitive — just human.

    Wonderful post, and a beautiful photo.

    • Thanks Charles, and that’s an interesting point. I do accumulate a lot of information and some of it pushes out other information, which is scary. Thing is, I didn’t forget her anniversary but I forgot “now”, or just wasn’t paying attention, and that’s kind of weird. It makes me feel like I’m not full participating in the world these days; that’s going to be changing.

  • It’s that time thing Mitch. Like you said when we work for ourselves sometimes the time just gets away from us. Heck, I can’t believe that August is almost over now. It seems like Christmas was just here.

    I was talking to my Mom the other day and I can’t believe that next February my Dad will be gone 10 years. It seems like yesterday so I’m sure with you losing your grandmother, it’s the same way.

    Wow, she lived to be 90. What a true blessing and I have no doubt she lived every day to the fullest Mitch.

    Here is celebrating Hazel’s life and knowing that she was definitely loved.

    ~Adrienne

    • I knew you’d understand it all Adrienne. It’s something to try to keep on top of here and there, and truthfully, I need to find more reasons for keeping up with the date. Since it’s now football season maybe I’ll be able to keep up with some dates so I don’t miss any big games. Like there’s any football game that’s not a big game. lol

  • Nowadays everyone is busy working on themselves – be it a business or a job. Everybody is so busy in his own world that we don’t get time for anything else – family, friends or life itself. Everything becomes routined. I was very moved by this blog, it reminded me of my bonding with my grandmother and how I too long to be in her company. Rightly said some things are never lost, though absent physically they remain with us somewhere in the deep corners of our hearts and we carry them along with us wherever we go.

    • Thanks for your comment Zvi, and you’re absolutely right. We do get busy and shouldn’t beat ourselves up over everything. We don’t truly ever forget, and sometimes that just might be enough.

  • I raise a glass to Miss Hazel for the story you linked to from last year Mitch – I think it’s those stories that stick it our minds from our younger years, that shape our memories of family – and your post must have had the effect of sparking some off in your readers – it sure made me think of some with my grandparents – I think the memories count more than the dates, but I think one date is lovely to focus and share love and respect for the deceased with other family members, whether it be the birthday, or day of passing…. I have to admit your post made me somewhat reflective, but life is what it is and memories battle with current issues constantly – we are busy, but must treasure our friends and familys – loved this Mitch – it made me think of these lines:

    To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
    * Bible — Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
    thanks,
    Jacs
    Jacs Henderson recently posted…MLM Attraction Marketing Works!My Profile

    • Thanks Jacs. Whenever I read stories like this on other blogs it makes me think of family and history as well. Only Mom and me left from my family and neither one of us is looking to see anything happen to the other. And the memories I have are pretty funny and wild as well, but through it all, she was the proverbial rock. 🙂

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