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The First Year Of My Grandmother’s Passing

Posted by on Aug 25, 2012

Last year on August 25th, at this very time, my grandmother, Hazel Beverly, passed away. She was 90 years old, and she had a pretty good life as an adult, even if there were some years before that which were pretty tough. Yet she wasn’t the type to ever complain about anything; she was the epitome of cool. If you’d like to see any of what I wrote last year about this, you can check here and here.

You know, I almost missed this anniversary, and I feel kind of ashamed of that. It’s not that I didn’t remember the date; it’s that I wasn’t sure what the date was now. One of those things that happens when you work for yourself is that sometimes you have no idea what the date is. Sometimes you don’t even know what day it is, but I knew what day it was because I always know when Friday comes. Even though things have changed, there’s something about Fridays that I absolutely love.

You know, sometimes we get engrossed in so many things that we forget things that should be important to us. In this case it doesn’t mean that the first year of my grandmother’s passing wasn’t important; it’s that for whatever reason it’s not relevant in my life and that’s depressing. I remember dates all the time. I remember my dad’s birthday and when he passed away. I remember my mom’s birthday, as well as my wife’s. Heck, I know the date my wife and I met, December 7th 1994.

But these days everything comes down to planning and what’s planned. I have all the dates I need to remember in my Palm or phone. I just hadn’t remembered to put this date in my calendar; so unlike me.

I bring all of this up because next week I have a post going live that talks about some things I’m going to be working on, in a way. There are plans, and there are time frames. All of these things will be important to me over the next year.

But what can’t be lost in any of this are the personal things. Family, health, motivation… things people often forget when they’re working on their professional life. We all have to consistent work on ourselves, and that includes our family, friends, and anyone else we feel is important to our lives.

Or our past. I hope your rest has been peaceful so far Miss Hazel; miss you.

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Beautiful post and tribute Mitch!

Sorry to know about your grandmother, but it’s nice that you remember her fondly. 🙂

I guess the ones closest to our hearts always remain with us, and they become our guardian angels – isn’t it? I say this because I also lost my Mom to cancer a few years back, though I find her very close to me, more so, when I am not feeling that good about things.

We all tend to forget things sometimes or the other. I for one never remembers dates and have them all fed into my phone too, which reminds me whenever their turn comes up. I guess that’s the easiest way nowadays. And yes, while we work and get involved in things, we can’t neglect our family, kids, and home. Everything needs to go hand in hand as they say. 🙂

Thanks for sharing and looking forward to what’s in your new plan. 🙂
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August 25th, 2012 | 11:08 AM

Thanks Harleena. It’s always nice to be able to look back with fondness on those we loved.

August 25th, 2012 | 1:15 PM

A great post Mitch. I can relate to your emotions.
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August 25th, 2012 | 11:25 AM

Thanks Rummuser; always appreciated.

August 25th, 2012 | 1:14 PM
Holly Jahangiri:

Mitch, I wouldn’t presume to give you a message from your grandmother – I’m not a medium and I never met the woman. But I’m pretty sure she’d tell you that it’s not the anniversary of her death that should be “important” to you, and that she’d be kind of happy you were able to put that one out of your mind. Think about it – that doesn’t mean you’ve put HER out of your mind. Doesn’t mean you’ve cast aside the good times or life lessons she was able to give you. Nope – just one sad date out of all those shared memories that are better than that.

I think she’d want you to focus on the good times ahead, and to know that everything she was able to give you of herself is all still in there, like it ever was.
Holly Jahangiri recently posted…It Really IS a All a Matter of Perspective!My Profile

August 25th, 2012 | 3:55 PM

She might say that Holly but it would never happen; the forgetting part I mean. I just don’t forget dates, as you saw in the rest of the post. My mother and I went out this year on her birthday also; it’s what we do. Actually, I’m not overly sad as I was with my dad. Dad was still pretty vibrant until the cancer reached his mind. My grandmother was declining over her last 3 years and the weight was heavy on Mom. I miss her from the earlier days because not only was she funny, but she filled in family history that my mother wouldn’t talk about. And she was the coolest woman you could have ever met.

August 25th, 2012 | 4:00 PM
Holly Jahangiri:

She wouldn’t want you to forget HER. Just not to attach too much importance to the date, or beat yourself up over almost forgetting it. 🙂
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August 25th, 2012 | 4:10 PM
Michael Belk @workplace issues:

Mitch, I understand your indifference to remembering the date vs how important it is to you, I have lost love ones but the fact that you lose track of the date does not mean it became less important in your life.

Sometimes when we get over our lost, we realize we do not want to relive that moment, but you can if you are strong enough and we have dealt with the loss.

August 25th, 2012 | 5:56 PM

Thanks Michael. Actually, a part of this is a reflection on myself that I didn’t even know what yesterday’s date was and that I was happy to have been reminded so I didn’t miss honoring my grandmother on this anniversary. You know, just like we have memorials for veterans and the like, that’s how I view these other things.

August 26th, 2012 | 12:02 AM

Live turn very strange sometimes. My grandma past away, 2 weeks after I went to army and I even could not get a day holiday. Rarely remember the date she past away, but quite often remember and mention her when I talk with friends about science as she was Physicist.
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August 26th, 2012 | 8:50 AM

Sounds like she was very accomplished Carl.

August 26th, 2012 | 6:19 PM

She was impressive woman and a great cook. I am not sure how to formulate it, but she was the backbone of whole family, that use to keep everybody together.

August 27th, 2012 | 8:57 AM
Charles Gulotta:

I remember that post vividly, Mitch, and it’s hard to believe it was a year ago. I understand how you feel. A few very significant dates have slipped past me lately, and I’m surprised each time, because they represent events that were traumatic, life-changing, or just plain sad. Maybe we need to acknowledge that as we get older, we accumulate more and more of these events, and that makes it increasingly difficult to feel the impact of each one. And of course, as time passes, the pain of loss lessens. They say that’s a healthy thing, and I guess it is. It doesn’t mean we’re insensitive — just human.

Wonderful post, and a beautiful photo.

August 26th, 2012 | 11:16 AM

Thanks Charles, and that’s an interesting point. I do accumulate a lot of information and some of it pushes out other information, which is scary. Thing is, I didn’t forget her anniversary but I forgot “now”, or just wasn’t paying attention, and that’s kind of weird. It makes me feel like I’m not full participating in the world these days; that’s going to be changing.

August 26th, 2012 | 6:22 PM

Hi Mitch your grandmother sounds an amazing lady and I am glad you have lots of good memories to remember her by.

It is important to have a system for planning and holding important dates in.

But I also liked how you remind us to have balance in our lives and remember our family, friends etc.

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August 28th, 2012 | 1:46 PM

Thanks Angus. She was a special lady and had a great sense of right and wrong and, well, cool! lol

August 28th, 2012 | 11:22 PM

It’s that time thing Mitch. Like you said when we work for ourselves sometimes the time just gets away from us. Heck, I can’t believe that August is almost over now. It seems like Christmas was just here.

I was talking to my Mom the other day and I can’t believe that next February my Dad will be gone 10 years. It seems like yesterday so I’m sure with you losing your grandmother, it’s the same way.

Wow, she lived to be 90. What a true blessing and I have no doubt she lived every day to the fullest Mitch.

Here is celebrating Hazel’s life and knowing that she was definitely loved.


August 28th, 2012 | 5:24 PM

I knew you’d understand it all Adrienne. It’s something to try to keep on top of here and there, and truthfully, I need to find more reasons for keeping up with the date. Since it’s now football season maybe I’ll be able to keep up with some dates so I don’t miss any big games. Like there’s any football game that’s not a big game. lol

August 28th, 2012 | 11:29 PM

Hi Mitch,
I can relate wit u on this one when some very close to us goes it is not easy to handle however we are grateful that we had them in our life’s i know your grandmother meant allot to you and she was important to you i know how you feel be encouraged.
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September 1st, 2012 | 5:56 AM

Thanks Steven. I have to ask if you’re writing the comments or if someone else is because I notice a difference in quality from your website, including your first name here being in small letters.

September 1st, 2012 | 10:19 AM

Hi Mitch,
Thanks for your concern ..
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September 7th, 2012 | 2:10 AM

Nowadays everyone is busy working on themselves – be it a business or a job. Everybody is so busy in his own world that we don’t get time for anything else – family, friends or life itself. Everything becomes routined. I was very moved by this blog, it reminded me of my bonding with my grandmother and how I too long to be in her company. Rightly said some things are never lost, though absent physically they remain with us somewhere in the deep corners of our hearts and we carry them along with us wherever we go.

September 6th, 2012 | 3:26 AM

Thanks for your comment Zvi, and you’re absolutely right. We do get busy and shouldn’t beat ourselves up over everything. We don’t truly ever forget, and sometimes that just might be enough.

September 6th, 2012 | 11:07 AM

I raise a glass to Miss Hazel for the story you linked to from last year Mitch – I think it’s those stories that stick it our minds from our younger years, that shape our memories of family – and your post must have had the effect of sparking some off in your readers – it sure made me think of some with my grandparents – I think the memories count more than the dates, but I think one date is lovely to focus and share love and respect for the deceased with other family members, whether it be the birthday, or day of passing…. I have to admit your post made me somewhat reflective, but life is what it is and memories battle with current issues constantly – we are busy, but must treasure our friends and familys – loved this Mitch – it made me think of these lines:

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
* Bible — Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
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September 7th, 2012 | 5:55 PM

Thanks Jacs. Whenever I read stories like this on other blogs it makes me think of family and history as well. Only Mom and me left from my family and neither one of us is looking to see anything happen to the other. And the memories I have are pretty funny and wild as well, but through it all, she was the proverbial rock. 🙂

September 7th, 2012 | 8:07 PM