John Carter – Movie Review

The Saturday the movie John Carter opened, I went to the 3D matinee version with my friend Scott because, well, we each really had nothing else to do. I went into this pretty much blind, not knowing anything about the storyline except it involved someone from the United States who, in the 1800’s, somehow ended up on Mars; that’s it. I also knew it was written by the same guy who wrote Tarzan, Edgar Rice Burroughs. I haven’t seen many Tarzan movies and I never saw the TV show either, but I did have this one question; why didn’t Tarzan have a beard? lol

The basic premise of the movie is that a man named John Carter is a prospector who also has a gruesome family past he’s running away from. After somehow getting himself into and out of a mess between some cavalry morons and an Indian tribe (yeah, I know, someone’s going to call me on not using “Native American”, but if I won’t use “African-American” and I’m also part Cherokee…) and, with the commanding officer in tow after he’d been shot, escapes to a cave where he encounters an alien with something glowing in his hands and is immediately transported to this vast desert, which he later learns is Mars. Because of gravity differences he is stronger than the norm and has leaping ability beyond comprehension, and thus becomes the hoped for savior for two different groups of Martians, one hoping he’ll save them from the great white ape (sheesh!), the other hoping he’ll save them from annihilation.

The star of this movie is Taylor Kitsch, whom I’ve never heard of, but that’s his picture above. His co-star is Lynn Collins, and she’s just stunning, and in this movie she’s not always wearing a lot, which my buddy Sire would love. Turns out I’d seen her in X-Men: Wolverine as his love interest in the movie, though I couldn’t remember that while I was watching it.

For what it’s worth this movie was a lot of fun to watch. Not having any preconceived notions of what was to be expected based on the books, I thought it was visually stunning to see, very funny, aliens that looked like what I was hoping for (I mean, green 4-armed Martians; very cool) and some beautiful landscapes and skyscapes that showed its $300 million plus budget. We laughed a lot and the audience made those group sounds at all the right places, and to me that’s what this kind of movie is for. It won’t win any Academy Awards except maybe in some technical design category, but based on the makeup of the people who judge for the Oscar, it’s probably not happening.

Critics have beaten it up for being uneven. Just how “even” is a movie like this supposed to be? It’s received a 51% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which pretty much means you either like it or you don’t, obviously. I’ll just say that it was much better than the previews led me to believe it’d be, because I wasn’t going based off what I’d seen. But I’m glad I went and if you have a sense of humor and love visuals you’ll enjoy this movie as well. And if you’d like to see another review of the same movie go see what Karen of Blazing Minds had to say.

12 thoughts on “John Carter – Movie Review”

    1. Cool Allan. I don’t think it’ll come close to making its money back, and if there’s a blame I think it was in not having a “name” in any of the starring roles. Back in the day, if Arnold had been the star of this thing this movie would have crushed the market.

  1. Totally nailed this, Mitch. I enjoyed it for both is visuals (as well as the special effects) and the fun storyline. There’s nothing wrong with a good escapist movie on a Saturday afternoon. Oh, and the girl wasn’t bad either.

  2. My friends also went last week and they didn’t like it, but your review doesn’t sound too bad and it actually got a 7.1 on IMDB, so I think I might pick it up as a rental, when it comes out in a couple of weeks…

    1. Andy, I think that’s fair. It was fun watching at the theater on a Saturday afternoon but as I wrote, if my friend hadn’t wanted to go I’d have waited until it showed up on HBO one day.

  3. I’ve never even heard about the movie, but probably I will watch it with my family in the very near future, I must admit that I haven’t had a chance to watch anything new since the beginning of the year.

  4. Sounds like the movie I would go and see Mitch and not just for the pretty scantily clad woman either 😀

    If it was up to me though I would have given Carter super strength because of something to do with mars itself rather than just being stronger due to the low gravity.

    Even so I’m going to love this movie by the sound of things.

    1. Sire, I figure even if it was sci-fi & they could have done almost anything with it, in this movie you don’t want him having unlimited strength; it wouldn’t have been as much fun. And yes, I think you’ll enjoy it.

  5. Love your review Mitch and many thanks for giving a link back to my review, very much appreciated. I can’t believe that the film is now in the list of the biggest flops in movie history!

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