It Pays To Be Bad Sometimes

You know, I really didn’t want to talk about this Tiger Woods thing because, overall, I don’t care who he’s been with or anything else. Yes, he’s let a lot of people down, especially with how he’d built himself up as this paragon of virtue and dedication only to his sport and his wife, and to see all of that come crashing down is depressing in some fashion.

But the truth is that he’s an athlete who owes none of us anything. He never had any moral authority like one of my childhood heroes Jesse Jackson, or a politician like Mark Sanford, governor of South Carolina. Tiger Woods ends up being Muhammad Ali (another childhood hero) in a way; heck, that could end up paying off well for him in the end.

See, here’s the thing. Over the past two weeks, I’d been wondering why all these women were coming out saying they’d had sex with Tiger; let’s call it what it is, instead of saying he “slept” with women. Heck, I’ve slept with women in my lifetime and none of it involved sex; yeah, I’m pathetic, but trustworthy. 🙂 Anyway, it had been troubling me the first week. Then one of my friends on Facebook talked about it, so I came out saying I just don’t get what these skanks could get out of it; yeah, I called them skanks. She didn’t have an answer either. So I went and mentioned it on Twitter, and I got my answer; money!

Oh yeah, the mighty dollar. Most of these women got paid to tell their story. Some of them, it seems, had been paid before by Tiger; they got him co… no, I’m not going to say that, as that jokes way too easy. Let’s just say they’re getting paid twice for having sex with him, well, once, twice, twenty times… who knows?

Most of them are getting paid. Some are getting paid really well. Some say they’re not getting paid, but then why the heck would they come out and say this stuff? That’s really the main question at this point; if they’re not getting money, what’s in it for them to come out and admit that their tramps, skanks, and sluts (as opposed to ho’s, because ho’s readily admit they get paid)?

Tiger gets his share of the blame here, but, as I said, this really isn’t a story about him as much as it’s a story about being bad. Let’s take a quick look at our short list of sex scandals, shall we?

Kobe Bryant was accused of rape, got out of it by paying off the person accusing him, and is now not only the best basketball player in the NBA, but has endorsement deals paying him more than he was getting paid beforehand. Why? Because just being accused of that heinous act gave him what’s known as street cred (credibility, for those in other countries who might not be up on the lingo), and suddenly it was cool for guys in the ‘hood to wear his gear.

Ashley Dupre, the young prostitute that brought down the governor of New York Eliot Spitzer, is now writing a column for the New York Post. Of all things, she’s giving sex and relationship advice. Of course, I’m sure she sees this as a major fall in cash, since she was making about $5,000 a pop as a prostitute (man, I can’t help myself; the puns are there), but at least she now has a steady job, even if she’s prostituting herself in a much different way (it is the Post after all).

Jerry Springer was mayor of Cincinnati when he was arrested for soliciting a prostitute. That wasn’t the worst of it, though; he actually wrote her a check! Now Jerry Springer makes around $20 million a year at least, writes a column for some newspaper, has had a couple of legit TV gigs here and there, and, well, he hasn’t gone too far from the sex now has he?

Mark Fuhrman, the detective in the O.J. Simpson case who was quoted saying all those racial epithets on tape and pretty much sealed the case in O.J.’s favor has made quite a nice living as a fiction writer. A couple of his books have gone to number one on the best seller’s list; he wasn’t making that much on a cop’s salary, that’s for sure.

Who really knew who Paris Hilton (she’s “hot”; lol) was until a video of her popped up showing that she had some skills doing, uhhh… well, you know what she was doing. She was someone else who was already rich, though it was daddy’s money, but she turned that one indiscretion into her own multi-million money making venture which includes fashion, perfumes, TV, modeling, movies and music; okay, she’s not making millions off the albums, although she did have one song to to number one on the dance chart. But the thing is that this is millions she’s making on her own, to the tune of almost $35 million a year, thus she hasn’t had to touch her trust fund, which is estimated to be in the 9 figures somewhere.

And we have Kim Kardashian, who turned her little home video into an empire that has made her a very rich woman. I mean, TV, modeling, fashion, and almost anything else you can think of, and that backside… let’s not go there except to say she replaced Jennifer Lopez in that area and leave it at that.

See, notoriety didn’t hurt any of these people. None of them, other than Kobe Bryant, were even in the consciousness of most of us until we heard about these indiscretions, and look where they are now. Heck, even Eliot Spitzer is now writing a column for Slate Magazine, a mag I’ve never heard of until he signed up with them, and now he appears on TV shows talking politics all the time, probably making more money than he ever was going to make as governor; not that he wasn’t already rich, by the way.

I guess this really is the way of the world, as even the prime minister of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, is dealing with his own sex issue, as well as a corruption scandal. But he’s 71; he might not have enough time to capitalize on his bad fortune, though he really doesn’t need to. After all, not only is he rich, but he got rich through sex, in a way, so he already knew the game before he decided to get into politics.

Man, why do I have my own sense or morals? Maybe I could be rich by now, flying all over the world having all sorts of fun because people want to know what I’m doing because of my indiscretion. Could I deal with a week or so of bad publicity to turn it around and make millions later on? Is there such a thing as bad publicity? Do we really think this little bit of negative publicity Tiger Woods is going through right now is going to make him less of a golfer, and thus earn him even more money later on? And, if his wife leaves him, he’ll be free to party like it’s 1999; we can still sing that song, right?

By the way, today it was announced the Accenture had dropped him as one of their spokesmen, saying he doesn’t represent their values. How many of you remember how Accenture came to be anyway; talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

After Sire’s big blog post last week that generated himself a ton of new publicity, maybe he can tell us how to do it honestly, although I’m betting these other folks had way more fun in how they generated theirs.

33 thoughts on “It Pays To Be Bad Sometimes”

  1. Great post, Mitch! It just goes to prove that no publicity is bad publicity. The public doesn’t seem to be consistent in lambasting people. Look at Michael Phelps, took a toke of pot and got a heap of trouble. And Kobe rapes? Michael Vick kills dogs? They’re still playing. I just don’t get it.

    Ashley Dupree has a column? Oh Gawd. I really am going to go off the grid & live off the land. Then again, nature is a dangerous place to be.
    .-= Heather Kephart´s last blog ..The Universe Speaks to Me =-.

    1. Yeah Heather, I guess they assume if she could handle a governor (man, those double entendre’s keep coming) she could handle a column (see, there’s another one). lol

  2. “Paris Hilton is hot?” She looks anorexic.

    I find it ironic that whenever there is controversy like this around a celebrity women come forward to state I had sex with him.
    .-= Rose´s last blog ..Novelty Penis Items – Etsy =-.

    1. Though I think she’s very cute, Rose, I put that in quotation marks because that’s her favorite phrase; I thought most people who knew her would know that.

      1. I don’t really know her. I’ve seen her pic, but that’s about it. My opinion is she’s unattractive and too thin. lol
        .-= Rose´s last blog ..10 Christmas themes for Blogger =-.

  3. Mitch, I have a proposition for you. Both of us can make some money out of it. You be my agent and get people to pay for my stories about my sex life as well as my sleeping habits. I can tell them everything about both without holding anything back. You can have a multiple, affiliate marketing program going and before you know what is happeing, you can start featuring on many blogs holding a chech for a million dollars.

    1. Heck Rummuser, just write the book, or record it on tape and I’ll write it, then we’ll sell that thing on Sire’s sex site and make a mint! 😉

  4. Tell you how to do what honestly Mitch, the killer post or getting laid and getting free publicity? The first was a fluke and as to the second I have no idea.

    I would have been here sooner but for some reason the trackbacks from post don’t always work. Good thing I’m a regular.

    Our current Premier has been caught with his member in someone else’s panties, something he is vehemently denying, and for now he’s not suffering from the scandal. If they prove him to be lying though, I reckon that’s when the shit’s going to really hit the fan.

    Regarding Silvio Berlusconi, seeing as how he’s already got more money than he knows what to do with I don’t think he’s worried about capitalizing on that episode.
    .-= Sire´s last blog ..Update On Probloggers And Commenting =-.

    1. Heck Sire, you can teach us about both of those and we’ll all sit back and learn from the master! Yeah, okay, the first was a fluke, but if you can fluke once, maybe you can fluke twice. 😉

      As for the story on your Premier, it’s proving my point, because look at how much money that woman made, whether it’s true or not. Absolutely incredible.

      1. See, old dogs can learn. 😉

        By the way, do you have trackbacks turned on at your blog? I just knew you’d have been here sooner.

      2. I think you need a blog feed reader of some type; that’s how I know when you write new stuff, unless we happen to be on Twitter at the same time. If they sold that as an affiliate program, I’d write about the one I use. lol

  5. Someone said that it is not important what they say about you, the important thing is that they say anything about you. And many people just try to be a part of that philosophy.

    1. Good point, Martin, but sometimes that infamy comes at a price. Of course, if you can get someone to pay that price… 😉

  6. The thing that impressed me is how he managed to keep it quiet for so long, if the tree had been planted another meter to the right we would have all been none the wiser… The paparazzi missed out big time.

    Not sure about bad publicity being so good – who can think of Hugh Grant without thinking – horrible, how could he?(Divine Brown probably made more out of it than he did) No doubt for every one that benefited from “bad” publicity there are twenty that disappear from the limelight.
    .-= Digby Salobrena´s last blog ..Welcome to Salobreña Properties – Costa Tropical =-.

    1. Hi Digby,

      First, I think the story was coming out in one of the tabloids anyway, which is how he found out. I’m betting someone called the house for confirmation of the story and the wife got the call first.

      Second, to be truthful, I’d never heard of Hugh Grant until his scandal, and I’m betting most American men had no clue who he was until then. And his career really took off after that because he started doing more visible roles. Divine Brown; now there’s a blast from the past.

  7. We are a sick and disturbing animal. There, I feel so much better now. But people like a train wreck. We are no better than ancient man and his hangings and lions and torture and orgies and the list goes on and on. Now, if we all did this it would be commonplace and therefore worthless.

    And Sire’s comment makes me think of the movie The Last Boy Scout when Bruce Willis says to [his friend?] in regards to the friend sleeping with Bruce’s wife – “You tripped, fell on the floor and accidentally stuck your @#$% into my wife.” I love that movie!
    .-= Anne´s last blog ..New Theme & Image Issues Abound =-.

    1. Sire makes people think of stuff like that. lol I don’t know that all of us are sick people. Truthfully, as much as I can, whenever the talk goes to these mistresses I turn the channel or turn the TV off as quick as I can. Initially I was interested in the potential injury, but once it got scandalous I’d had enough.

      1. Well, not all of us are sick, but many given the level of newsworthiness these incidents garner. That and so many want to say ‘well, at least my life isn’t that bad’. I am with you, I turn the channel whenever I hear Tiger’s name. Although I was kind of smiling at his Athlete of the Decade award.

    1. Hi Rummuser,

      I’m not sure there’s anything I can do with the image; I really have tried to not capitalize on his sorrows, though I have to admit it’s hard not to.

  8. I don’t even want to know what these people do in their bedrooms. I figure sex is a participant sport, and only those involved or directly affected should care. Now, committing a CRIME (rape, sex with a minor, use of taxpayer dollars to hire a hooker, etc.) is something that may affect us, and we may have reason to care. At which point, the question becomes: “Will an innocent person be convicted of a crime they didn’t commit, or will the guilty be fairly punished and their wrongs against us fairly vindicated?”

    My husband and I think Tiger’s wife could make up for the loss in endorsement money; she could endorse golf clubs. I think plenty of women would buy. 😉

    And you’re NOT pathetic. Trustworthy trumps whatever the implied opposite of “pathetic” was, in that context.

    I’m sorry some of your childhood heroes turned out to be horse’s patoots.
    .-= Holly Jahangiri´s last blog ..And the Winners of A Puppy, Not a Guppy are… =-.

    1. Actually, there was a rumor going around to that effect, but it was squashed today by the product maker. lol

      Ali is still a favorite of mine, because at the end of the day he was just an athlete with no moral authority. Jackson, on the other hand, kind of hurt my feelings after all those years of support, and he was a moral authority.

      But isn’t it amazing how some people will come out of the woodworks for some money?

    1. Thanks Koloro… you know the rest of your name. lol Yeah, I love the Muppets, and share whenever I can.

  9. What is the deal with Miss Hilton? I just read somewhere that she would be in a Guinness World Records book as being the world’s “Most Overrated Celebrity.” As if! Can she act? Is she popular as a model? Double yuck! And getting out of prison early? Ms. Untalented skirting her responsibility because of her terrific grandpa, or was it her celebrity standing?

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