Oh, the angst!
Every once in a while I start a post, can’t quite figure out what direction I want to go, and save it to draft. I figured it was time to pull this one out of draft and go ahead and get it written because recently there was something that happened that fits right in with this theme.
Last week a young and very pretty model who has a major Instagram following decided it was time for her to shut down her account. The reason she gave for shutting down the account is she felt it was telling people a lie about how good and perfect her life was. She said she didn’t feel that way at all, and that social media had turned her into a liar.
I’m not going to say that some people don’t have good reasons for deciding to shut down part of their social media activities while keeping other parts open. For instance, I know quite a few people who have shut down either their Facebook or Google+ pages, saying that they were more trouble than they were worth. I actually understand that, as I’ve been contemplating shutting down my Facebook business page because it’s not doing what I had hoped it would do for my business.
However, that’s more of a business decision, not a personal decision where I’m saying “Oh my goodness, social media is hurting my feelings” or “Other people seem to have a lot better life than me and I can’t take it anymore.” I have my hands in a lot of fires, and one of the things about working for yourself is that sometimes you have to redirect your attention towards those things that are helping you to survive.
Frankly, I’m starting to get a little irritated with all the angst (goodness, used that one twice in one post lol) that some people have with social media. So let’s look at this concept of whether we put the best of us on social media and therefore were lying to people.
As you will see in the video below, which I hope you watch, I mention that nobody wants to follow someone on social media who’s making them depressed all the time. Most of us tend to share those things that bring us comfort. I think that’s fair, and it’s probably that kind of thing most of us want to see.
Have you noticed that the people who share all the bad stuff that’s always showing them being depressed are the ones who usually end up doing something stupid or having something happened to them? I’m thinking that if I had someone like that in my stream I might want to call the police and ask them to go to that person’s house to check on them every once in a while.
I’ve met some folks who’ve said that they recognize people get worried about some of that things they write. Well, if that’s what either make them happy or something that’s they’re worried about, they can either stick with it or make the change. As for the rest of us, we all get to decide whether we want to consume that kind of thing or not.
I can truthfully say that over all the years I’ve been online, I’ve shared mainly funny things that have happened to me. I’ve shared a lot of good things, but I’ve also shared some bad thing. I think that when we really look at it honestly, that’s it microcosm of our lives. Everything isn’t always great, but everything also isn’t always bad.
There are a lot of bad things that I will never share with anyone on social media because it’s none of their business. I said that during a conversation I was having with a friend of mine early last week, when we got on this topic of privacy, or lack thereof, where I said that if people really don’t want others to know what’s going on with them then they need to learn how to shut up. What do you think of that?
Anyway, I cover a lot of things in the video so I’m going to wind down with this statement. Social media is a place where we both share and consume a lot of information. If you think what you’re putting out isn’t up to the standard that you want it to be, good or bad, then change it. If you can’t handle what you’re seeing or putting out, change it.
Just don’t blame social media for either you’re reaction to it or your participation in it. Sure, there are bullies and there are trolls we sometimes have to deal with. But those people would be jerks and idiots without social media; actually they are. Social media makes it easy for people to hide, but when all is said and done, we all know who the jerks in our lives are; we just need to get away from them.
Social media offers the easiest way of all; just turned everything off! Now, on with the video…
https://youtu.be/t_iq4hyloY8
Funny how often you and I (and others) pick up on the “universal theme of the day” – and how often we’re in basic agreement.
My post, this morning, obliquely touches on the need to NOT be totally paranoid about social media, but also to take some control back and implement reasonable precautions against social engineering, scammers, or worse. At the same time, I wrote it largely for a group of people who can’t always tell the difference between locking yourself in a panic room and taking sensible measures to protect yourself. (There are a few times in life when it’s good to have a panic room, but most of us don’t have that need.)
While I don’t go in for all the mumbo-jumbo, there are some principles that are often called “intention manifestation” or some other fancy name for “you reap what you sow.” And as a friend says, “If you don’t value your secrets enough to keep them, why should I?” NOT that she doesn’t, mind you – but she has a point worth remembering, any time we confide in others. Trust is a very special gift, and good people strive to be worthy of it. I refuse to live my life paranoid and untrusting. But big secrets? Keep ’em to yourself.
Absolutely! I mean, the stuff we do give away can be used against us in some fashion but if we think everyone’s out to get us or make us feel bad then we’re giving ourselves too much credit and others too much power. Heck, I figure if I can’t get the people I actually want to find me to find me then why should I worry about anyone else? That plus my life, while not perfect and could be better, isn’t so bad.
Post lots of photos. Share lots of updates. Have a ton of fun on social media. I love it and will continue to use it in healthy ways.
Don’t perform for strangers you’ll never meet. Be present to the people you’re actually with.
Exactly Uttam. Social media should mainly be fun and beneficial. If it’s not, then change things up.
I get you on two points here Mitch.
First, you DO have your hands in a lot of fires. And then there is Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and Google+ and ABoutMe and this and that and the other thing just to try to get your name in front of people. So much work to try to build and grow your brand. Often it is overwhelming and fat needs to be trimmed.
Secondly, I have been accused of showing off on social media. “You are always out doing fun stuff and posting it on line. You are just showing off.” Uh, ok. Envious much lately? I don’t drive a $60K car or live in a 4,000 sqft house. I spend my money to have experiences or I find free stuff to do. Tonight I am going to a charity event where many Las Vegas performers will compete in a lip synce contest. A fun and free networking opportunity / entertainment. And yes, I will tweet about it and post it on Facebook and people will think I am showing off. No one wants to hear about / see me bringing in the garbage can in 22MPH winds or picking up after the dog or dealing with the erronious $27 charge on my Visa. That is boring, but if we DON’T show the ‘bad stuff’ it looks like we are living a life of only ‘good stuff’
Plus I try to keep the negative away from me and I certainly do not want to be the one to push negativity on others.
Isn’t that something Troy? You have a few instances of a good time and someone has the temerity to be upset by it. Dude, those wouldn’t be friends of mine because I can’t imagine any of my real friends saying anything like that to me.
The couple people that said that were removed from my Facebook ‘friends’ list and I do not deal with them. Then I cut my ‘friends’ list by about 60% down to 175.
Fast forward several months and I read an artical that said the optimal amount of friends to have on Facebook is 300. Less than that and you look like a loner/loser and more and you look like a ‘friend collector’.
Though I am sure your 581 will be just fine Mitch. 😛
They better be! lol
I use my blog as a place to have fun, think through things and take the edge off.
It has been a great tool for me for all of that. I figure those it resonates with will keep reading and those who don’t will just move on.
But social media is not the reason I am happy or unhappy.
I wouldn’t have figured you’d be one of those folks Jack. lol It’s amazing to think there are folks who are depressed by other looking good.
You mentioned people who share bad stuff regularly and this reminds me of a part of “the secret” which is a really good book that basically talks about how positive thinking can create positive consequences in live, and vice versa. So maybe those people sharing negative thoughts are thinking negative thoughts and bringing negativity into their life?
First, I changed the name you put onto the account because what you had violated the commenting policy. I decided to leave your comment because it wasn’t a bad one.
Second, I’m big on The Secret and positive thinking, and I agree that if people have a negative perception of their life that it probably explains why seeing other people sharing good stuff bothers them so much. One of my online friends even admitted it as such, not because she necessarily has negative feelings but she’s got a special needs daughter and seeing all the images of happy kids depresses her sometimes.