Are You Regular?

Maybe I’m writing this post because I’m now 50, because I certainly can’t see me writing something like this even when I was 40. We’re about to talk bowel movements, folks; serious stuff here, but if you’re uncomfortable reading about it, move on to something else now. Great Sunday fare, this will be.

Here’s the thing. I’ve had problems going, as in #2, since I was a kid. I don’t really know why, I just did. But I never mentioned it to anyone. I just went about my business whenever my body said “it’s time”, and that was that. Sometimes I’d go daily, but most of the time I went every 3 to 4 days. Talk about being uncomfortable, and dealing with pain.

As I’ve gotten older, I started to find that I couldn’t deal with the pain as well anymore. Man, stuff starts to beat your body up as you get older. Not only that, but sometimes it wasn’t just the pain, it was everything else. Many times it was worse than spending 30 minutes working out on the treadmill. Legs would actually get quivery, if that’s a real word, and I was finding myself having to rest upwards of a half hour before I could get my heart to stop beating heavily. Talk about workouts!

Yeah, there were some other problems as well, but I knew it was time to do something. What many people don’t know is that one of the major places where people have heart attacks is on the toilet; how about that for a stat? Where I live, shoveling snow is number two, but worldwide, number one is sitting on the toilet. I know I’m not the only one who’s ever experienced this issue, obviously. But I finally did something about it.

I went to a proctologist, although it turns out they don’t necessarily like going by that term anymore. Instead, they want to be called colorectal surgeons. Hey, whatever right? Trust me, it was an embarrassing thing for me to do, but I had to decide pain versus embarrassment, and pain won out. No one likes being in pain, and I had to get this issue under control.

I was really worried that I might also have hemorrhoids, and that’s no laughing matter either. I know a few people who’ve had that operation; it’s not a day in the park. Like I needed anyone cutting on me again; I’ve already had both a hernia operation and an operation on my breast to remove a lump. A hemorrhoids operation sounded like no fun at all.

So the guy checks me out and says I “only” have fissures. That’s still painful, but it could be helped. However, it was the other issue I was having that he said was the thing to address. And he recommended something called Miralax. He said it wasn’t necessarily a laxative; in other words, it might not necessarily make you go. What it would do, though, is break down whatever it is that makes things not want to come out when it’s time so that there would be no more pain, and my body could heal.

Just so you know, in my life I’d tried a lot of things. I’d even gone the Metamucil route, thinking that might fix things; nope. But this Miralax thing is something else. It did end up making me go more regular, as long as I remember to take it. It makes things much easier across the board. I get that stuff out of my system, it doesn’t hurt anymore, my body has healed, and man, life is just better.

I’m here to tell you that embarrassing or not, pain and suffering isn’t worth it. To me, this issue is more important than the Viagra thing any day of the year (okay, I don’t have that as an issue, but that’s certainly never been a painful thing for anyone as far as I know). And it affects both men and women. I’m reminded of it a few times here and there when I forget to take it for a few days; call me a moron at those times, but I’m not giving up on it ever again.

By the way, it’s not inexpensive really. It costs around $20 for a 17.9 oz bottle. But it’s worth it, and it certainly lasts longer than a pizza will (and it’ll help you get that pizza back out of you if you’ve asked fro extra cheese, which is how I usually get my pizza).

Look at that; another adult conversation for a Sunday. Any comments?

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33 thoughts on “Are You Regular?”

  1. Ouch! Mitch, fissures are often a side effect of CRC surgery, and I know they’re no fun – so good on you for getting things checked out.
    Now don’t forget to schedule that other age-50 test, the colonoscopy. Especially with the history you’ve described, that’s one test you want to get done. BTW – ask them for the Miralax prep (it’s the adolescent/Crohn’s c-scope prep…and much more tolerable than any of the other preps available.)
    Be well!
    .-= Pat Steer (Gaelen)´s last blog ..Did you know how to prevent your cancer? =-.

    1. Hi Pat,

      Glad to see you at the blog! Truthfully, I have to admit that I’ve been putting off the colonscopy; I just don’t want to do it, but I know I’m going to have to get it done. My wife had hers and she came out okay, as has everyone else I know, and yet I’m still leery of it all. By prep, I assume you mean the stuff to clean you out; man, I’m really not looking forward to that one. 🙂

  2. You know Mitch, not going poo lets the toxins build up in your system.

    I normally notice that I start feeling very sluggish if I don’t go for a week or so (that was my norm). If I haven’t gone, then everytime I eat it feels like I have sand paper in my stomach.

    I could drink all the water in the world & still would not go. I could exercise, eat fruit……..and still nothing.

    I did start taking one product that is an all natural fiber and it works great unless, you are already stuffed.

    The other thing I try to take at least a few times a week is plain Psyllium with extra water.

    I do know that certain foods are much more stoppable uppers than others.

    I also have had an unkind reaction to dairy…it makes me go but, to the point of colon infection and more.

    Don’t worry, more people should talk about bowel movements, it really is a health issue that lots of people ignore.
    .-= Sheryl´s last blog ..Tweet Up or Meet Ups with Real Humans =-.

    1. Thanks for sharing, Sheryl. If I remember to take the Miralax every day, then I’m perfectly fine. It’s almost like anything else, though, you start feeling good and you start skipping out on doing everything you’re supposed to be regularly doing. It’s probably why I forget to take my other medication at times, but I need to make sure I don’t skip that either.

  3. No, no I’m not. Thanks for asking. 😉

    In fact, I get these bouts of doubled-over, crying for my mommy [really, I say I want my mommy], and praying for a quick death. Then I try to figure out why so I don’t do that again. And a few days later I can’t go at all. I don’t know if it’s IBS, but it’s not pretty. Just saying.

    Then I had a former co-worker tell me about diverticulitis [pockets formed in the large intestine]. I don’t ever want to get that.

    I’m glad you figured yours out and it’s working for you. When I get insurance again [i.e. find a job] I will be sure to get checked out.
    .-= Anne´s last blog ..What Do You Mean, Exactly? =-.

    1. That’s terrible, Anne. I don’t know if you’re going to try the Miralax, but I’m betting you’ve already tried the Metamucil route as well as a few other things. I hope something’s been able to give you at least a little bit of relief here and there.

  4. When I read of folks who don’t go for several days at a time, I shudder. Violently. Probably as violently as some of you when you finally get to go to the bathroom!

    While I’ve been vegan for about 5 years (and “regularity” was a surprisingly wonderful side effect), I’ve never enjoyed the whole idea of “Number Two.”

    I’ve seen my father struggle on the toilet when I was a child, had a boyfriend with Chrons/ilitis and now my partner’s the same way (err, we pretty much have an open door policy in our bathrooms. Yes, my family and I are odd).

    There were tears, grunts, BLOOD and lengthy stays on the porcelain seat.

    “That just can’t be normal,” I say to all three.

    The switch to a plant-based diet came when I heard that meat stays in your internal system for days.

    Food tastes great. Let me tell you that I love me some food. Way too much, in fact.

    I just don’t want the remnants in my body longer than it needs to be.

    Extract the nutrients, then the rest of it has just got to go!

    Mind you, when I had my second child not even veganism could save me from the constipation that I suffered on and off for about 3 months. I’m telling you…I went completely primal.

    There was virtually nothing I wouldn’t do to at least go once every other day. Even waiting that long caused mental anguish.

    Wow, I can’t believe I’m writing a long post on poo. A poopoo post.

    All that to say, Mitch, is that it’s good that you finally got around to checking into this. Best of health to you and here’s to Number #2 at least 3 times a week!

    1. I have to admit that when I’m making sure I take the stuff, I usually go 2 or 3 times a day, which is much better than what I used to deal with.

  5. Cleavage and pooping? You never know what you’ll discover here on your blog.

    At first I thought this was a paid to blog review of Miralax. lol

    All joking aside I know all about the discomfort you speak of.

    You don’t have Irritable bowel do you?

    1. Not according to the doctor. Just need to keep things going safely, which is why he recommended the Miralax, and why I’m passing the information on. It used to be prescription only, but now that it’s over the counter, I think more people should know about it.

      Hey, I only talk about serious subjects here lol

  6. Interesting topic for a blog post Mitch, but you are “just sharing” so it’s okay 🙂

    I guess it’s not a joke when we’re taught to “go when we feel the urge” and not hold it in. Also, I’ve read that men should not spend time on the toilet, reading and all other stuff. Just go there, do your stuff, and get out again. Sitting on the toilet too long increases your chances of getting hemorrhoids 🙁
    .-= Klaus @ TechPatio´s last blog ..Funny Pictures: Google Street View Launched In Denmark =-.

    1. I’ve never heard that second part, Klaus, but part of what probably makes men want to sit there for awhile is that it’s sometimes a lot of effort getting that stuff out of us, so we need recovery time. Some folks might laugh, but if they’re truthful with themselves they’ll know it’s true, because I know. I get a lot less read since I started on the Miralax, since I don’t have that problem as much anymore (as long as I’m taking it regularly, that is).

  7. This is my kind of topic – I’m never one to shy away from talking abt going to the toilet.

    I used to be obsessed with going every day. If I don’t, I’ll take natural laxatives like prune juice to move things along. But I’ve eased up a bit now, my philosophy is that my body knows when it should go.

    But then again, if you have pain, that’s another matter and it affects your quality of life. I’m glad you’ve dealt with your pain successfully Mitch.
    .-= lazygirl´s last blog ..I might need to go to the friend store soon =-.

    1. Thanks LG. Actually, I never thought much about it most of my life, but my wife is obsessed with the topic and I’ve come to realize she’s right. Pain is never any fun.

  8. I think I’m glad you didn’t find a product to match the post…
    .-= Dennis Edell´s last blog ..Here We Go! Theme Construction Part 1 – Your Participation Is Wanted-Needed! =-.

    1. Not for lack of trying, Dennis. lol Actually, everyone’s probably lucky it’s Valentine’s Day week, because I’m sure I could have found something.

  9. Mitch, I had to watch my dad suffer for months with a hernia as he awaited his operation. Then I had to watch after the op as he spend a lot of time recovering, not fun for anyone. Even though pain is relative to the person feeling it, it certainly impacts those around you when you are suffering in such a way with any type of pain.

    Glad to see you found a solution.


    1. Thanks Karl. Actually, I had hernia surgery in 2006, and I guess I’m lucky in that I only had to take the big pain killers the day after the surgery. But I wasn’t really right for up to 10 days afterwards, and probably shouldn’t have done some of the stuff I did.

      1. It was about 2006 with my Dad. At the time he had two German Shepherd Dogs that weren’t the best at walking on the lead (always pulling) and this made it impossible to walk them. I did my bit for a few months by walking the dogs in the morning before work and then after work before going home to the fam.

        I think that was part of the trouble with my dad as well Mitch, he found the act of doing less a major frustration and kept doing more than what he should, always resulting in him doubled up in pain.

      2. I was lucky, Karl. I was never in pain. I’d actually popped it back in 1999, just before I turned 40, while exercising strenuously, and that was the only pain I ever had. However, it was starting to protrude, and that was problematic to me, so I went ahead with the operation.

        But this topic I wrote on here… you can’t imagine the pain, but there’s a joke that goes around the internet from time to time that proves the point well. And no, I’m not posting it here. 🙂

    1. I have to admit, Sire, I don’t look, but I know I’ve had blood in my past. Metamucil is okay, but it didn’t work as well for me as Miralax in keeping things soft, only in helping to get stuff out.

      Yeah, kind of a different topic for me, but I had to do it. lol

      1. Good deal, although here it’s an over the counter thing, so you should be able to get it anywhere.

  10. I have quite a few digestion problems and I’m only in my 20s. Painful bloating, blood, itchiness. As a kid I never went more than every 3-4 days; I’m sure I went weeks sometimes. In college I held it as much as possible because I didn’t like using the public restroom. Stupid, I know. I don’t know how I did all of that. Now I go every day, but I’m pretty sure I have some internal hemorrhoids. I have started actually squatting (with feet on the toilet seat), which is supposed to be hugely beneficial. Most people might have some trouble doing that, but you can get a squatting platform to widen the effective surface of your toilet seat.

    1. Well Brad, get your hands on some of this stuff and you’ll be good as new. I have to admit, though, that I was like you as far as the public restroom thing went. I was probably the only kid in college who actually took his own cleaning product into the toilet before I’d use it. lol

    1. I did notice it; normally I’d have just changed your name. I’m assuming you saw my comment policy.

  11. Hemorrhoid operations are easy and in less than 10 minutes, the surgery is done if the surgeon is highly skilled.

    Be sure to ask your doctor if this Miralax can be taken for a long period of time cos it so happens that, after a while your body might get so used to it that if you miss taking it you’re doomed to no bowel movements for ages.

    Increase the fiber in your diet and drink loads of water, that should help alleviate constipation which in turn prevents future occurrences of anal fissures.

    Take care 😉
    .-= Udegbunam Chukwudi´s last blog ..Make Money Blogging By Daniel Scocco Short Review =-.

    1. Chuks, I can use it every day, and I’m supposed to be using it every day, though I forget here and there. As for the other stuff, you can recommend that sort of thing, but the reality is that most people don’t change their eating habits all that much by a certain age, and I’m at that age. lol

      1. LOL. I’m guilty of that in a way too. I only worry about the fibre when my weight starts to rise. The fibre helps control my appetite while reducing calorie intake 😉
        .-= Udegbunam Chukwudi´s last blog ..Make Money Blogging By Daniel Scocco Short Review =-.

      2. I know I don’t eat enough fiber, so there are times when I’m taking supplements, though it’s not quite the same thing. I’ll usually do well with weight when I start exercising more; I just don’t keep it up, unfortunately, but that’s on me.

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