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Do You Protect Others Better Than You Protect Yourself?

Posted by on Apr 24, 2010

Last night my wife and I were having a conversation about things that had surprised us about each other. One thing that came up was how, when the need arises, we tend to change our demeanor up in protecting each other, as opposed to when we’re protecting or supporting ourselves.

Safety and Protection

I’m not one who raises my voice in anger. When I raise my voice, I’m usually happy in some regard. And I’m generally a very easy going guy. However, I’ve noticed what when someone or something is not treating my wife well, I don’t yell, but I do go on the attack. And I don’t play nice, something that surprised my wife because she’s noticed I usually give people a lot of leeway when it comes to messing with me, although I do try to cerebrally castigate them if I have to.

My wife has done the same for me. We’ve been in restaurants where she’s made demands on stuff that I might not like. Not that I won’t say something many times, but how I address things and how she addresses them is much different.

I noticed earlier today that our friend Sire had a comment on his blog where the guy pretty much called him an idiot. Sire responded in his normally gracious way, and the guy didn’t quite apologize, saying he likes to speak directly with people, but was glad Sire took it in the matter in which he meant it. I didn’t; I thought it was grossly inappropriate, and I decided to take up the spear and thrust it back in my own way. You’ll remember that I wrote an article on web courtesy; you come into my house, I don’t mind that you disagree with me, but you’re going to respect me. And you’re going to respect my friends in their house, unless you want to pay the bills.

Am I sensitive? Sometimes I’ll admit that. I tend to believe you teach people how to treat you, and you also treat people as you wish to be treated. I’m so thankful that everyone who has participated on this blog has shown great deportment over the years, and trust me I appreciate it. I hope I treat everyone with the utmost respect because I hope to get that back. We can disagree; I’m certainly not perfect. But there are ways we can all support our beliefs without being rude.

Kind of like customer service, eh? 🙂

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Perhaps it’s the Cristian in me Mitch but wherever possible I try to turn the other cheek. That’s not to say that I will continue to do that, especially as I only have two cheeks, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

While that guy was wrong in the way he expressed himself I feel that my pointing it out in a nice way may show him the error of his ways. If it didn’t I would have tried another tact.

As it is it all turned out well, not that I was worried as I knew you always have my back, which I truly appreciate.
.-= Sire´s last blog ..Is Disqus Costing You Comments? =-.

April 24th, 2010 | 8:38 PM

I just remember that one guy from two years ago, Sire, the racist guy on your blog, and that kind of thing irks me to no end, as you know. You let him go way longer than I would have.

April 24th, 2010 | 8:52 PM

Got to admit that guy was a bit of a tool, and I actually deleted the worst of his comments. Luckily he’s the exception rather than the rule.

I just realizes I never answered your question, the answer is yes, especially when family is concerned.
.-= Sire´s last blog ..Interview With Maddy Cuttsworth Over PR Update =-.

April 24th, 2010 | 9:14 PM

Well, Mitch as far as I am concerned, you are a born pacifist, until it comes to racism and then you bare your teeth, as I would.

I remember a time on Ryze, when I was being torn apart and you didn’t say much but that’s OK, because they hung themselves in their own time, as do most attackers.

My husband knows that I don’t need protecting, but when a good looking chivalrous guy comes along to carry my flag, I am usually flattered – and so is he!! 🙂

April 24th, 2010 | 11:24 PM

Actually Althea, I did come to your defense quite a few times if you remember. I didn’t go all that far, as in getting between you and your main protagonist, although I didn’t like him either, as you know. You missed all the back-channel talk in private messages that got ugly as well; I didn’t share much of that with you because you were going through other stuff. I tried to have respect for your network and not do too much negative stuff there. Just so you know. I even remember trying to get you away from a couple other people you trusted that I didn’t, and I remember how that worked out as well. So, I certainly tried my best, and that’s why we’re still friends now. 🙂

April 24th, 2010 | 11:58 PM

Yes Mitch, I read the comment on Sire’s blog and it bothered me too. I guess there is a difference between disagreeing with the blog owner and insulting him or her.

I think I too am more likely to be more assertive on behalf of someone else than myself.
.-= Ned Carey´s last blog ..Charles County Md Tax Sale 2010 =-.

April 24th, 2010 | 11:50 PM

It’s a weird thing, isn’t it Ned? I guess we don’t have that thing about trying to get someone before they get us first.

April 24th, 2010 | 11:59 PM

Man, it’s nice to know I have mates like you guys to stick up for me. Actually I think we far outnumber those rude visitors that we occasionally get.
.-= Sire´s last blog ..Skysa Could be The Coolest Add On For Any Blog =-.

April 25th, 2010 | 12:55 AM

I tend to defend my friends/family to extremes at times.

As for myself, very little bothers me enough to make me angry.
My son says I’m to much of a diplomat where I’m concerned, ha,ha.

My feeling in most situations is that if someone takes their anger out on me that they won’t take it out on their wife or kids. Hope I’m right..
.-= Glen´s last blog ..Producing an EBook =-.

April 25th, 2010 | 10:19 AM

I hope you’re right as well, Glen. I’m not going to say I don’t get angry, but I hold it better when it’s directed at me than at my wife and friends.

April 25th, 2010 | 11:46 AM

I do not quite offer my other cheek but I do tend to be very protective of other less endowed people! My sonorous baritone (!) and my size is, I am told, quite intimidating, though I can neither fight nor take flight at a pinch.
.-= Rummuser´s last blog ..Gutteria. =-.

April 26th, 2010 | 9:33 AM

Sometimes Rummuser, all you have to do is look the part. Many animals do that as well.

April 26th, 2010 | 2:58 PM

It’s not always easy to turn the other cheek and sometimes I can become very sensitive when it comes to defending my family & friends.

April 26th, 2010 | 1:44 PM

You’re right, Rose, and it sometimes takes a lot of control on both sides, which sometimes I’m sure we both fail at.

April 26th, 2010 | 2:59 PM