We All Lie; I Might Be Lying Now…

I was listening to this presentation by some woman on a TED talk on the subject of lying and telling the truth. Her premise is that all of us lie in some way, in different degrees, and a lot of it is based more on who we’re talking to than what we’re lying about.

I'm lying
Taylor Dawn Fortune via Compfight

I found that intriguing, and I don’t remember any of the numbers right now because I was doing somethings with numbers at the time and didn’t want to mix these things up. However, it got me thinking enough about the subject to decide to write a blog post about it; that’s inspiration for you.

One of the major recommendations I always make when it comes to blogging is that you should be truthful in what you write about because people can tell if you’re putting them on. When I think about my own writings, and if I was going to be honest, I’d probably have to say that I’m at least 90% honest in all the blog posts I do.

You’re wondering where I’m lying, or why I’m not owning up to a full 100% right? Well, based on what this lady was saying, if we sugar coat certain things so we don’t hurt people’s feelings, or withhold some things that we think might coat us in a negative light, or someone else in a negative way, that’s a form of lying, if indirectly doing so.

It’s in that vein where I may be lying to you sometimes. I don’t often set out to intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings. I certainly make sure I choose my words fairly carefully when I write blog posts, even if I’m telling a true story. For instance, when I wrote my post about bullying on blogs and mentioned my friend’s blog and video, if you visited either one of those you’ll see there was a lot more emotion in what she wrote and words that I’d never use in person, let alone write on my blog. In my mind I told her story in my way, as honest as I could with my personal demeanor, but not as brutally honest as she told it since it happened to her.

So, was I lying? Directly no. But based on some of the comments the post received I had to wonder if they would have been different if I’d told the story differently, showed way more anger than I did, told more truth than I did in my post about her experience, maybe shared more of one of my own experiences from my past. Is that lying or a writer’s prerogative, and does a prerogative negate something as a lie or not?

I’ll put the question out to you, because who says that experts always know what reality is anyway? lol Often I think reality is what we believe it is and science is what it thinks it is, and the two don’t always agree. So, when we don’t tell it totally as it is are we prevaricating or are we still being truthful, just in our own way?
 

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Writing Something Negative And Still Being Positive

Last week a friend of mine went to a local restaurant for lunch. It turned out to be a horrible experience, as I wrote about it on my local area blog. That post, and previous posts about local stuff that has bothered me here and there, got an interesting reaction.


by bluekdesign

Some people wrote to say they agreed with what I had to say. Some wrote to say they didn’t know if it was good that I outed a local business in that fashion. Some who wanted to share wrote on the blog, while others wrote me directly; one wrote me on Facebook. For those that didn’t believe I should do it, I was asked why I was being so negative about it all.

I found that to be an interesting take on the affair. It’s not unique, obviously, but it was definitely interesting. I have a few thoughts on the subject, and these thoughts kind of relate back to blogging. Let me have my say, then tell me what you think.

The first thought is that one can talk about something they didn’t like and still be positive about it. I went into that restaurant with high hopes. I left feeling very disappointed, but I can’t say that I was angry. I was disappointed, and I think someone at the restaurant should have made things good, but I wasn’t angry. But I felt that with everything that went on it deserved to be written about, so I did.

My second thought went to a post Beverly Mahone wrote last week titled Bad Mouthing Others Creates Unwanted Publicity, where she talked about a guy who wasn’t happy with services he said he didn’t receive and outed the person online. She wasn’t sure it was fair; I decided it was absolutely fair. One of the other commenters said it might not be fair because the other person couldn’t defend herself. I said she could defend herself by writing in her own blog or, better yet, addressing the issue with her former client in a more professional way and diffusing the entire thing.

My third thought is this belief that when one is normally positive and is in a positive mindset that one should just forget things and move on with life. To that degree I’d have to say it “depends”. If the worst thing that happened was that someone was rude, I might have let it go. But this was a major fail for more than one reason, and the fact that my friend tried to give them the opportunity to make it good and was rebuffed, and that the incident could have been intentionally personal, was enough for me to write about it. I wasn’t mad then, I wasn’t mad when I wrote the post. I just tell the stories as they are.

And see, that’s the thing about being a blogger. Overall it doesn’t matter what one writes about as long as its the truth. One can decide to be angry if that’s what suits them and if it’s how one feels then by all means do it. Or one can decide to capture the story as it played out, then let the chips fall where they may. After all, I’ve talked about the concept of being controversial and how some people may or may not be ready for it. Truth will always win out, as it did with my Finish Line post. In that instance I was mad and not even close to positive. 🙂

Do you believe that you personally can write about a negative instance and still be positive overall? Or are you someone who’d rather let those types of things go and move on with life? By the way, if you’d like to see something, here’s a list of 1001 Tolerations that people will put up with instead of standing up for themselves. It’s a pdf so just right-click and download it. Oh yeah, it’s free.

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