Most people are going to think this is an easy question to answer, but I’m here to tell you that most people are deluding themselves, unfortunately.
Zig Ziglar says that, and I’m paraphrasing, positive thinking won’t allow you to do everything, but it will allow you to be better at everything than negative thinking. He’s one of the most positive people in this country and has been pushing out this message for more than 40 years. Here’s a guy who went bankrupt twice, yet found his way to the top of his profession, which is sales, and is one of the most sought after speakers in the country. If you don’t know about this guy you’re missing something.
When you think about positive or negative personalities, you don’t have to think in absolutes. No one is positive every moment of their life. No one is positive every moment of their day. Being positive doesn’t mean you can’t complain about something, or point out bad things. What it means, however, is that you have the ability to determine how you’re going to let it affect you over the course of your day or over the course of time.
For instance, I hate racism with a passion; I would, obviously. The United States is a racist country; heck, that’s not anything new, because truthfully every country in the world is racist in some fashion, so we’re not alone, and we’re not even at the top of the heap. I could easily walk around with a chip on my shoulder being angry at “the man” for holding me back, and blaming everything bad that happens to me on racism. And trust me, I know there are a number of things that happen to me that are based on race.
Instead, I tend to go a totally different route in my thoughts. Whereas I know racism exists, I also see the opportunities for breaking down some barriers here and there. I see that people of color aren’t allowing things to hold them back; at least not all of them. I see that people of color are achieving things that wouldn’t have been possible even 30 years ago, and that’s saying something. As I watch the news about Arizona’s stupid immigration bill, I not only see Latino people protesting, but a host of white people, often more of them that Latinos, protesting as well.
I also tend to believe that most people are inherently good, and that good things will happen for all of us. That I do it without any religious belief astounds some folks, but hey, that’s me. I do believe in the laws of attraction, though, and that we tend to bring on what we think, and who we hang out with helps determine where we’re going to go in life. I treat everyone fairly, and everyone gets the benefit of the doubt until they’ve proven themselves to be untrustworthy.
Two days ago I had another consultant tell me on the phone that I was too nice. It’s an interesting thought, and actually it’s funny because I often think our friend Sire is too nice. What I’ll believe instead is that we’ve decided to be more positive and inclusive than negative and obtrusive. We’ve decided that we want people to interact with us in a positive manner than in a negative manner, even when we might be calling someone out (that Sire is a trip!).
Back in March I asked what kind of friend are you, and some of the responses indicated that some of you like to stick to yourselves. You kind of missed the point of the question. I was basically asking if you believe people want to be around you, and if they do why. Except in networking meetings, probably because people sense I’m kind of tense, I tend to draw people to me. People talk to me all the time; I meet people who start telling me their issues almost immediately; it’s freaky. Babies are drawn to me; they stare and play with me all the time. Older women are drawn to me, and many of them comment on my eyes; I don’t quite get that one. Shy people are drawn to me, and people in trouble are drawn to me. I’ve always figured that if I were a negative personality overall, that wouldn’t happen.
So, with a bit more fleshing out of the topic, which personality do you consider yourself to be, and why?