What do you think of the question above? For the most part, I’m betting the women are going to see this differently than most men. I’m not one of those folks who believes women aren’t harassed online; I know they are. And I think it’s a shame.
I know way too many women who are scared to put their pictures on social media sites because they’re tired of being hit on by men they don’t know. If someone was writing them and saying in a nice way that they thought they were attractive and just wanted to mention it, they might not hate it as much as they do.
But that’s not the reality; many of them get solicitations with vile language and nasty suggestions. Who would want to put up with that all the time?
For most social media sites it’s bad enough. For LinkedIn… that’s just incredible! It’s supposed to be a business site, yet it seems that, like everywhere else, there are men who think it’s their personal dating service. Not as many of them are hiding behind fake names because they signed up to hopefully do business with others, yet their behavior can be just as bad as everyone else’s.
I know this because this past weekend one of my lady friends called me and asked how she could remove her picture because she was tired of being hit on; really guys? Is that the reputation you want to be known for on a business site?
I’m keeping this post deliberately short because I hope y’all will watch this video. I also hope you comment on it, and I hope those comments support women. I think by showing your support you help to eliminate some of the hate and superiority over stupid men who seem to have lost their sense of perspective.
https://youtu.be/P5zGaagAlRQ
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2015 Mitch Mitchell
Hi Mitch,
I saw the same problem with one of my facebook friends. At the beginning she put her own picture as her profile picture but later she took that off. And thereafter she never upload any of her pictures in facebook. One day I ask her, why you took off your profile pictures? She replied, “someone playing with my profile picture”. It’s ridiculous. I don’t understand what’s the point of playing with a girls picture.
This is a great share and thanks for that.
That’s always my thought Thyrone; no idea why some folks just can’t leave other people alone… or at least be civil.
Not from me they are not and to the best of my knowledge not from you either. But let us face facts, there are sick people out there who do try and harrass and trouble women. I know of two ladies who were targets and it was not pleasant for either of them till they got cops involved.
There sure are Rummuser. It’s always been a pattern of mine to come to the defense of my friends and those who didn’t seem to be able to take care of themselves at times, which was my purpose for writing this one. That people need to go to the police to protect themselves from stuff like this is so stupid.
I also think that women are harassed if the images of women appear on any social networking site,men are considering a play toy to women images.its my humble request to the people to stop harassing with a image of the girl because she is also human like you which has same freedom like a men.internal awareness must be there in the men those who missuses it.
I’d agree with that. It’s okay to appreciate someone who’s attractive in a picture but it’s not okay to say some of the things I’ve seen said or, sometimes, to comment on it at all in the open. Some folks need more discretion in their lives.
You’re absolutely right that females are harassed on social media. Even though I put 100% professional headshot with no innuendoes on my LinkedIn profile I considered taking it off after some time as I was harrassed by a couple of men. But sometimes I can’t resist the impression that it depends a lot on the kind of the picture that women feature on their social media profiles.
Thanks for sharing Isabel. If there was a difference between women putting up pictures of them in skimpy clothing and those with professional shots I might say you were right on that one. But it seems that all it takes is a headshot for a lot of men to become inappropriate. I think it’s one reason why a lot of blog spammers use pictures of pretty women, thinking most of us will go ahead and accept those lousy comments because of it. Unfortunately, they’re probably right for a lot of folks.
Hi Mitch,
Even though a professional headshot image will not completely solve the problem but you’d agree with me that it can go a long way.
It’s a shame that some guys do that, but it’s impossible to have everybody behave sane because quite honestly they are just not sane.
Thanks for being nice to defend the female folks with this post.
Dan
Dan, in this case some of the women I know do have professional headshots on their profiles, so that doesn’t stop the bad behavior. Often I think it’s just trolls having their jollies and I think “how horrible their lives must be if that’s the best thing they can think of to do with their lives”. Unfortunately there are a lot of jerks out there, as I was informed a couple of weeks ago after a local networking event.
Hi Mitch,
Thank you so much for stepping up and shouting out to these cowardly men who do harass women online.
I do get harassed, and I’m no spring chicken! Some of the men will be more than rude. Now on Periscope there are so many Trolls, they actually write in show me your (fill in the blank).
From live streaming to LinkedIn, I too get hit on all the time. But it doesn’t bother me a bit. I have my block button and if it is vile, my report button.
We must also consider that half the time it isn’t even a person but a bot. Yes indeed Mitch…there are systems with fake faces that will do this for what reason is beyond me.
I have to say the worst I have seen…and I’ve seen quite a few, is a fake American Soldier picture and someone that cannot write English hitting on me. Now that gets me so mad because the agenda is not only disrespectful to me, but to my country and those who defend it. That I do report.
As a woman dealing with this for a few years, I know who is real and who isn’t. But I won’t be pushed back by those cowards. So if any woman is reading this….keep your picture up…and don’t let anyone bully you.
(Sorry for the rant…but I do get so mad at these fools)
-Donna
Donna, you’re allowed your rant; truth deserves rants. I didn’t know bots did this; you’re right, what’s the point? You know how much I hate trolls in general, but those that go after women… punks. These folks deserve to be called out as often as possible.
By the way, I did another video on the consequences of saying such things to women that you might find interesting: https://youtu.be/QilICpO0ln8
Hey Mitch,
I do have to admit that I have done the online dating thing back in the AOL days and I have been out with a few women on line. But I never came across as a scumbag like the guys you mentioned here.
I can’t believe that there are guys who are doing this on LinkedIn of all places. If believe that you’re right that if a lady looks nice, then it’s ok to compliment her like that, but it’s a no, no if you’re like the stereotypical construction guys who’s whistling and telling these ladies what you’ll do to them. That’s very classless.
I think what’s even worse is when a guy is hiding behind a name with no picture. That’s just beyond cowardly and this is coming from someone that’s pretty introverted despite the fact I did the online dating thing.
These types of guys makes the genuine guy who actually does the online dating thing look bad. This is just as bad as network marketers harassing people to look at their opportunity .
Anyways, great post Mitch!
Thanks for your comment Sherman. It’s strange that there are so few men willing to stand up for women in today’s world, so I’m glad of both the challenge and the strength to do it. It’s amazing how many people seem to get a thrill out of being abusive in all manners, but thinking it’s more correct to threaten and single out women… tasteless. These hidden punks all deserve the worst in life, which most of them are probably already living.
Mitch, it’s depressingly commonplace. It’s harder on young, pretty, single women and older, vulnerable, gullible women – especially those who display any lack of Internet savvy or any overt concerns about their privacy or safety.
Fortunately, I have surrounded myself with good men and women who, like you, have the strength to stand up to these pipsqueaks and trolls. I once switched my profile photo to one with my husband at my side. He laughed and said I couldn’t use him as a human shield. I told him I was pretty sure our marriage vows said otherwise. But when it was pointed out that men are less likely to harass women they see as another guy’s “property,” I switched it back to me alone. I’m nobody’s property.
I also won’t hesitate to call the cops if I feel truly harassed or threatened. I haven’t had to, yet. I did, once, have to tell a stalker/cyberbully that I WOULD – and I was absolutely not bluffing. He backed off, because he knew I wasn’t making idle threats.
It’s a mean world and people do and say things they’d never say to someone in person… at least most of the time. Yet, I do hear stories from women who’ve had to deal with someone showing inappropriate behavior even in working or networking conditions. Social media is really ugly; if so many of these folks weren’t hiding behind fake names… although I think if I wanted to I could find most of them, since they’re obviously not all that smart.
Someone considering you “property”; ain’t never gonna happen lol