Don’t Ask – Book Review

I figured that since I’m pimping stuff today I might as well finally get around to talking about our friend Beverly Mahone’s new book Don’t Ask, And I Won’t Have To Lie. It comes with another subtitle as well, ’50 is the new 30 and other tall tales’.

Don't Ask book

At just under 80 pages the book is a very easy and entertaining read. Bev talks about her own “lie” and how it almost cost her life because she wasn’t telling her physician the whole story on how she felt and if she’d been taking care of herself. That started her exploring this concept of lying and the intricacies about it.

The strangest things she talks about are the lies we tend to tell ourselves when we should know better. Things like ‘I don’t smoke much’ or ‘I know I exercise a lot’ when we don’t necessarily do those things. I like to say how good I am often enough when it comes to eating patterns, yet when I was taking time to write down everything I put in my mouth I realized that I do have a tendency here and there to snack a bit here and there, which adds up over the course of a day.

The last quarter of the book consists of a liar’s daily survey you might think to do on yourself, which of course I didn’t do because I don’t want to know. lol It also consists of responses to a survey she conducted that yield some interesting responses here and there, answering questions such as “Your girlfriend’s husband makes some inappropriate comments to you while drinking at a party you’re all attending.” What do you do? Nope, I’m not revealing the answers; it’s on you to buy the book and read it.

Oh yeah, two things for clarification. One, the book is slanted more towards women than men, but there’s enough for men to go around. And two, yours truly is quoted in the book on page 43, where I said: “I have no problem with lies of omission, as I don’t believe everyone needs to know everything.” Ah fame; you’re right on the cusp of my grasp! 😉

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Why We Don’t Trust Sales People

Last week we had a new picture window installed for our house. Yes, it was cold, about 25 degrees, and it might have seemed like a strange time to have a window replaced. I don’t like bugs; enough said. 🙂

The window that was there had been there about 50 years or so. It had never been broken and looked fine, but it was old technology. The living room has always been cold, so much so that in the winter my wife and I pretty much stay out of there. In the summer it’s so hot because of the evening sun that, once again, we have to stay out of there, even if the curtains and blinds are closed, because the heats builds up a lot then won’t go away.

So we had a new, modern window installed, which you see above. Looks pretty good, and it has some neat features to it. At one point, though, I went over to the window and touched it while the guy installing it was still there. And it felt cold.

I said “Hey, the window feels cold“.

He said “It’s supposed to feel cold. The outer window is exposed to the cold, so cold will eventually reach the second window.”

I said “But when the sales guy came, he had an example of what he were getting, with the heat lamp that he pressed against the window, and we didn’t feel any heat whatsoever. He told us we wouldn’t feel anything.”

He said “I always worry about sales guys because they sometimes tell people something that’s not totally true. I’m glad I’m just a contractor so I don’t have to deal with them all that much.”

My wife came home and said that she wasn’t feeling the draft anymore; I’m not so sure. I can’t feel much difference in the living room than I did before the new window was put in. The sales guy promised us that we’d see at least 15% in savings on our heating bill and our air conditioning bill from putting that window in. I’m just not so sure anymore. Did I really need a new window or just someone to do more with sealing problem areas around the window?

Why do we hate being sold to? Because we just don’t trust what people say to us about something. My wife and I don’t know a lot about windows but we’ve learned some things since the first set of windows were put in.

For instance, as I watched this guy most of the day (and it was cold, so that wasn’t pleasant for almost 6 hours), I made sure he was sealing the area around the windows both inside and outside of the house. We learned that lesson when we wondered what was going on with windows we purchased 4 years ago and had a contractor come by and show us that none of those windows were sealed properly. So, I know this guy did the job pretty well.

Yet, we can’t know it all. Years ago we had a company come in called Zero Draft to do an assessment on our house for drafts and the like. We ended up paying them around $3,500 for the job, which included more insulation and other stuff. The result; the house still felt cold, even after the guy came back and did his tests and said their scanners were saying all the drafts were taken care of. Do these folks ever get a recommendation from me? Not even close because I’m not satisfied.

As an independent consultant, I understand the issues in trying to convince someone that I’m going to do right by them. Almost everyone has had someone who has promised them something and didn’t have it delivered. Sometimes it’s the fault of the person doing the selling; sometimes it’s the fault of the person who perceived something that wasn’t stated. Either way, it’s always up to the person providing the service or product to not only try to represent themselves legitimately, but to try to give what’s promised, if possible.

I look at the products that I’ve created and wonder whether they deliver what people are expecting. I certainly know they’re as good as I could make them, but would someone purchasing those things agree?

I had one bad situation years ago at a hospital in New York City. The guy who set it up for me promised the moon to the guy who took me on. The place had way more problems than I could attack, most of which was having to try to work with people who belonged to a union that administration had irked so much that the employees that reported to me weren’t really supposed to talk to me, though they eventually did.

That’s a lot to overcome, and I’m not omnipotent so what was hoped for wasn’t happening. I did the best I could, tried to bring them back into regulations, and ended up bringing in the most cash they’d had in a one week period all year the last week I was there. But it wasn’t close enough to expectations. Was that my fault, the fault of the guy who promoted me, or the fault of the guy who took me on by not letting anyone know just how bad things were? By the way, that hospital’s closed now, which shows just how bad it was.

As bloggers who are trying to make a buck off our blogs, or off our websites, it’s incumbent upon us to try to always put our best foot forward in whatever we do. If you’re writing a product review, do you really believe what you’re saying, or are you writing what you are just to get paid? Will your product really solve the problem you told people it would or does it go in a different direction? Are you giving people solutions or history?

And yes, I’m still cold.

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Fabulous 50 – Top Bloggers Of 2010

You know, the experts kind of got it wrong about 3 years ago. They said that things like social media were mainly for the young, and that older folks, that being older than 40, would have a hard time competing with them in this new world.

They got it wrong. Not only are people over 40 actually significant impact in social media, but more of us have embraced things such as Twitter and Facebook than was ever expected. And I think that extends to blogging, based on many of the folks who respond on blogs such as mine.

By now you see that badge to the right. I have made the list of Fabulous 50 Top Bloggers for 2010 by Beverly Mahone’s Boomer Diva Nation. I find it a high honor for a couple of reasons.

One, it’s pretty neat getting an honor for blogging at this age. I sometimes feel like the goals I have for myself might be unrealistic because I’m over 50, although on the new end of it. I have to say I’ve embraced my age way better than I thought I would, but one still wonders here and there.

Two, because I’m the only male on the list. After all, it does have the word “diva” in it, which means, in a way, I get to be one of the “girls”, so to speak. This type of thing isn’t new for me, and if you don’t believe me, you can ask my friend Scott. Most of my friends are women, and it’s been that way since I was 16 years old. I used to hang with the ladies in college; it gave me an interesting perspective and gave them someone they knew would keep them safe. In my profession before I started working for myself my offices were mainly me and all women; I think I had 3 men ever working for me.

So I thank Bev for the honor and I congratulate the other ladies on the list. By the way, I forgot to mention at the time, but I made another list based on age back in September on a site called Problogservice, the Social Media 40 Over 40 list. Of course, just being over 40 doesn’t put you on the baby boomer list, but I thought it was a pretty neat honor anyway, and I’m surprised I never mentioned it here before now.

Okay, we’re on a roll now; let’s see how many more lists I can end up on in 2011!

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2011; Ready For The Best To Come

Happy New Years! I hope y’all didn’t overindulge last night. I’m lucky; I don’t drink and my wife doesn’t drink, so we wake up as we normally do and get on with life. We also don’t drink coffee, so we don’t need pick-me-ups either.

But it’s New Years Day and it’s also Saturday; I bet some stores are really conflicted this year. No matter; we move forward.

However, since it is both a Saturday and New Years Day, I assume no one wants to do a ton of reading. I might be one of those folks who doesn’t mind, but I’m going to be putting us all through a lot of stuff, and yesterday’s post was, well, longer than I thought it was going to be when I started it. So, instead of all that, let’s go with videos of cute things. After all, the symbol of the New Year, at least in the U.S., is a baby.

Man, I love laughing babies. There’s almost nothing that will make you feel better than hearing a baby laugh for the first time, and when they get the hang of it they’re the best audience ever. So, here’s five videos of laughing babies to enjoy; I hope you don’t have a hangover and can enjoy them. If not, come back later. 🙂

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