Over the course of just over 8 years of blogging I’ve had 15 guest posts here, the last one in 2013. Except for 2 of them, all the other guest posts were because I asked someone I knew to write about something I thought was pretty interesting.
Kelvin Ringold
In this case I’m highlighting my friend Kelvin Ringold, who I’ve mentioned in multiple posts on 3 of my blogs over the years and in many of my videos. Many local people know who Kelvin is, so I figured it was time for him to introduce himself to the other masses by writing a post on his main vocation, which is writing and talking about positivity. I owe this guy for lots of things over the years, so he gets a guest post; for the rest of you, don’t even think about asking. lol
He’ll introduce himself so I don’t have to, and I hope you enjoy the inspirational and motivational words he’s going to impart on you today. 🙂
Good day, my awesome friends. WELCOME to another day of… LIFE!
All things considered, I prefer life to most other alternatives I’ve seen, so every morning when I wake up pain free and moving on my own power, I consider that a really good start on a great day! And the rest of it is smooth sailing.
As you might have guessed, I’m the positivity guy: Kelvin P. Ringold, Prince of Positive, Oracle of Optimism — I’ve been dubbed by my fans. I’m the guy who can find the silver lining for any cloud; find an advantage in any disadvantage, because there’s Power in Positivity, and the mindset with which we face life determines what we get out of it, and it gets out of us. When you master your mindset, you master your life.
When I say that, some folks think that means that I don’t see negative things, that I ignore the pain in the world, that I run around with blinders on pretending that everything is perfect — but that’s not the case. What it means is, I don’t let those things define me. I am not my problems — and neither are you.
There will always be problems, but a positive attitude dictates how we handle those problems. It dictates whether we roll over and surrender or stand up and decide how we’re going to tackle them and move beyond them, around them or through them! Our mindset determines whether we’re going to focus on the problem, or focus on the solution.
Those two approaches are very, very different, and in a huge, seemingly metaphysical way… if we continuously focus on the problem, we will reinforce and intensify the problem. So, for many years, I’ve dedicated my life to helping people develop mindsets and strategies to focus on and create empowering solutions. And I have a few steps you might consider.
1. Make a decision
You must first DECIDE you’re going to be positive. The question I love to ask is: how many happy NEGATIVE people do you know? In the past, I’ve said that casually and matter of factly. But the truth is, if you’re not already at least a borderline positive person, it’s not all that simple to make the switch.
We’ve been taught and conditioned since birth — and maybe before — to be negative. Much of that conditioning came from well-meaning people whose purpose was to protect us and make sure we “faced reality.” In the process they scared us, jaded us, told us all about our limitations and why we couldn’t do or be more, so don’t expect it; and since most of it came from people we loved and trusted, we accepted it at face value and it became fact in our minds. But they were wrong — or perhaps better to say, they were operating from a flawed perspective.
We CAN do and be so much more than we’ve been typically taught that we can be, but we have to accept that as a reality and work towards attaining it. So to become positive there’s a great deal of past conditioning we have to override — which we do by focusing on the solution. Once you decide you’re going to be positive, then the work will start.
2. Turn off the News! All of it!
We are bombarded by thousands and thousands of messages each day, and many if not most of them are negative. We don’t “notice” most of them because we are deletion creatures. We tend to tune out things that we don’t need to directly interact with, or focus on to survive, but the subconscious mind still processes that information. NEWS these days is a melodrama. You only hear the bad, usually at a time when you’re eating or having quiet time. They charge it with emotion and innuendo to get your attention and reaction and RATINGS and leave US with the stress & anxiety while the advertisers pitch their products.
Emotion is one of the triggers that the subconscious mind pays attention to, so negative info charged with emotion (like the news) penetrates the veil and is planted in your mind. TURN OFF THE NEWS for 30 days and you’ll be so much happier that you’ll likely never turn it back on again. I stopped watching the news for the most part in 1989. Life is good. BTW… if you can wean yourself off Facebook, you’ll drop another few points of negative input. Just saying!
3. Associate with Positive People. Period.
No better place to learn to master your attitude than by hanging around people who have mastered their attitude. Positive people are calmer and more resourceful under stress, they typically put things in perspective and don’t respond with unbridled emotion, and they are solution focused. They learned to tune out the negative triggers — or at least put them in perspective. Birds of a feather flock together. Check your friends. If they’re all hyper and grumpy… well… think about it 😉
4. Refrain from Negative Conversation — especially negative self talk.
Gossiping around the water cooler, finding out about who did what dirt, listening to the office scuttlebutt… bad for you. Negative. It plants negative, creates suspicion and other negative feelings. Causes stress (what if they’re talking about ME like that behind my back?) Learn to disengage if it starts around you — go potty, remember that appointment you’re late for and get away from that. Refraining from negative self talk, again, is tougher than just saying it. It’s a habit.
You talk to yourself all day — constantly, and most of it is negative. “I’m such an idiot; why did I do that?” But you can at least become aware of the things you’re saying to yourself. Once you’re aware, then you can start to eliminate it. For me, when I notice myself talking negatively to me, I just say “stop it.” Sometimes I say it twice. But awareness is half the battle.
5. Read or listen to something Positive EVERY DAY (this does not include a newspaper — except maybe the comics section.)
You need something to counteract all that negative stuff you’re hearing and thinking all day. You need to read something that says you’re a great person and how much potential you have, rather than what a loser you are. You need to read or listen to things that talk about how people have overcome adversity and won — rather than the latest disaster.
You see, there are miracles happening around us every day! People are winning EVERY day — but that doesn’t sell newspapers (what’s left of them) or news. And the best time to do the reading — just a few minutes — is just before bed. That way, your mind has something positive to process while you sleep, and you’ll likely wake up in a better mood.
Another good practice, is to pick at least one thing — and preferably 3 to 5 things — that you are grateful for that happened in your day. If nothing that day, go back in your mind until you find something to be grateful for and let that be on your mind as you go to sleep also. If you need some practice on the gratitude, I did a personal list some months ago. Maybe it will seed your thoughts.
6. Do Something Nice for Someone — and don’t let them know it was you 😉
I don’t have to explain that one. You felt good just thinking about it, didn’t you?
7. Here’s a BONUS!
Check out the song “I Just Want to Celebrate” by Rare Earth on YouTube. It’s my goto pick- me-upper.
8. And, I admit, I do have one other favorite you might like. You might consider subscribing to my Daily Dose of Positive called “Vitamin K Daily” A positive message each morning, Monday through Friday, designed to be read in 2 to 3 minutes (usually) to give you an empowering start to your day. It’s $24.95 a year but you get 4 weeks free to check it out and you can unsubscribe in like two clicks, if it’s not for you. You’re not billed until the 4 weeks is up.
Experts say is takes 14 to 21 days to create a new habit. Follow this positivity recipe for 14 day days, and chances are you’ll never stop. Make a habit of being positive, and I promise your world will change.
Have an awesome day!
Thank you for the guest post, Mr. Mitchell. Sincerely hope your readers get something out of it. Have a great day!
No problem; glad you did it and I’m sure there will be a number of people who’ll love it.
Kelvin, it’s wonderful to meet you. Mitch talks about you all the time and now, I see why! You rock.
I consider myself a positive person – but I have yet to master it. I am definitely going to incorporate your suggestions into my daily behaviors – I already ignore the news and only play games on Facebook! LOL
I’m sending 25.04 your way 😉
Cheers,
Mitch
Hi, Mitch! Thank you very much; I appreciate your kind words and the $25.04 🙂 I’ve been writing the Vitamin K for right at 6 1/2 years and I love it; and hope you’ll find continued value in it also. Hang in there — you’ll master it soon. I have faith 🙂 Take care for now, sir!
Hey Kelvin,
Mitch notified me that your guest post was up. He must really like you because I know he rarely does guest posts.
Being positive is so important. I know at times I get these negative vibes and I realise afterwards what a downer it puts on the day. Sometimes it’s hard to shake off. Once you know though what has caused it, it shouldn’t be too hard to keep those negative thoughts at bay.
Thanks for all the positive vibes.
What a fantastic and motivating post. Loved your suggestions on gaining a positive attitude. I stopped watching the news almost 10 years ago. Some say I am not being responsible in knowing what is happening in the world around me but I still hear (how can you not) when there are catastrophe’s. I don’t hear of it as quickly but I hear. I choose to surround myself with as much positivity as I can so why add the negative media to my thoughts.
I really liked this article alot and am so glad you guest posted here at Mtich’s. (Hi Mitch ). Have a great upcoming weekend.
Irish
Hello Peter!
You’re welcome. And trust me, I think that even MITCH was surprised that he offered me a guest post. But I believe in miracles. LOL.
Thank you for the kind words. I appreciate them. Once you become aware of a negative feeling, it’s kind of like a habit. The only thing that can replace a habit, is another (hopefully better) habit. Changing a feeling is similar. Once you’re aware of the negative feeling, find something else to think about that makes you feel better — the last major win you had, the last time you heard a baby laugh, the way you felt the last time your favorite team won! — and focus on that feeling. It’s called the Law of Substitution and is one of 7 Laws of the Mind that says “We cannot think about 2 things at the same time.” So when a negative thought enters your mind… focus on something different. I’ve found that to be very helpful for me — but it does take practice, so stock up on your pleasant thoughts to switch off to 🙂
Thanks for your comments. Have an awesome weekend, sir!
Greetings, Irish! Thank you so much for your kind words! I’ve had people give me that “not being responsible” line too — but since we personally can do nothing about most of it, the “knowing” is of little value. Best to focus on efforts on things we can actually affect (Stephen Covey; 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)
Consider checking out my daily email at vitaminkdaily.com. You can get 4 weeks free to see if it adds value to your days 😉 I hear it’s pretty good. LOL.
Have a great day! and thanks again.
Kelvin
@Kelvin, Well, what do you know, a positive law to learn, the law of substitution. Now all I need to do is work out a list of all the positive things that has happened to me and concentrate on them on a rotating basis. I reckon that will make things more interesting 😀
Thank you Mitch for having Kelvin here.
Kelvin,
I enjoyed this so much. I made a decision a long time ago not to watch the news. Well sometimes if it is on while I’m waiting on a line I view it as light entertainment, but never take it seriously. Sometimes I just have to laugh at it.
It all starts with knowing we have the power to decide weather to watch TV, put up with negative people which we don’t have to do once we learn how to create boundaries. We don’t need to be negative towards them, but learn how to put boundaries up without doing the blame game.
You mentioned negative self talk. That is something that takes a bit of “training” to apply. I know..I’ve done it lol.
I do believe it comes to being aware that we can control many things in our lives from thoughts to other people. This is something that usually doesn’t come naturally. It is a learned behavior and is much needed to have a happy peaceful life.
Thanks so much and I’ll pass this on because everyone deserves to be enlightened.
-Donna
Hi Peter!
Yes… there’s few more, too 🙂 I have a kudos folder on my computer and in my email client. For YEARS now, whenever I do something awesome, and I get kudos, it goes in that folder. Whenever someone sends me a compliment, it goes in that folder. I have a running list of “awesomes” and “atta boys” that spans several years and has survived multiple hard drive crashes.
If ever I start to feel down, or inadequate or “not enough”, I go through that folder, those notes, those memories and replay those wins. I remember what skills or drives or insights or motivations got me through them and I replay them and remind myself that I have what it takes. I may not have had to use it for a while… but I got it!
If you don’t have such a file… start one now. Keep score. Some of those wins came during crushing times; you get to remind yourself of your cunning, your strength, your courage… or whatever you had that got you through to the win. THOSE are empowering memories, my friend 🙂 Keep a running list. You don’t need to brag about it; you only refer back to it when you need to sure up your foundations. You’re gift to you that no one can dispute, because you remember it, and you’ve got the kudos from others to prove it. POWERFUL! 🙂
Thanks, Donna!
I very much appreciate your comments. Thanks for posting.News absolutely gets comical when you look at it through the right filters 🙂 Like those distorted mirrors at carnivals and boardwalks. LOL. Sounds like you’ve already done the work, my friend. It’s quite the journey going through that process. Congratulations. And you’re right. Mastering the self talk is a huge hurdle. But as you say, once you’re aware of it and what it’s doing, you can begin to laugh at it also.
I got a great insight on the subconcious mind in the first half of Eckhart Tolle’s book, “The Power of Now.” One line in the book mentions that when you get to the point where you can observe the activities of your subconscious mind and react to it as you would the antics of a small child… then you’re on your way. All that hinging on becoming “the observer.” Becoming the observer is very powerful positioning.
Thank you again for engaging, and for sharing the post. I appreciate you! Have an awesome weekend! BTW… if you’re on Twitter, I’m “kelvinringold.” I keep forgetting to share that. LOL.
@Kelvin P. Ringold, That is a brilliant idea Kelvin. I never thought of having one of those, something for myself alone to pick me up when I’m down. Thanks mate. 🙂
Love love this!! I don’t watch the news, exactly for the reasons you mention. It is so important to nurture a positive mindset!! ”When you master your mindset, you master your life.” So powerful and so true and totally love it! Enjoyed the read!
Hello,@Jolene Ejmont!
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my post and leave such an uplifting message 🙂 I appreciate you, and I apologize for taking so long to respond 🙂 Have a magnificent day and weekend 🙂 Thanks again for the uplifting response.