Sunday Question – How Much Do You Like Yourself?

Posted by Mitch Mitchell on Aug 1, 2010

This is one of those weird topics because I know what I’m expecting to see from those who will even think about answering the question, and a lot of it probably isn’t going to be all that honest. Yeah, I said it, and now I’ll add why.

In deference to the memories of all those mentors I love in The Secret and all points above and below, we’re all taught that if we don’t love ourselves we can’t really love anyone else. We’re told that we should be happy with who we are because, well, it’s who we are. We’re told that we should be happy with how we look, even if we believe we can look better, because that’s who we are. Heck, we’re told a lot of things.

I’m not all that different when it comes to trying to motivate people. I tend to believe that all of us have to have confidence in our abilities, and if we don’t then we need to take actions to build up those abilities so we can have that confidence. I tend to believe that we all can be better, live better, have more money and the like, but we have to think positively about our lives or at least our direction, because on one ever achieved anything thinking “it can’t be done”.

Anyway, a lot of people will come out and say “I feel great about me,” and for most people, that’s not going to be an honest answer. I could say the same about me as I’m writing this, but I know it wouldn’t be fully true. Like most people, I can list a litany of things I want to change about my life, my appearance, my wealth, etc. If I liked myself 100% I wouldn’t have any of those things on my list. I know that about me, and you probably know that about you.

Now, does this mean I don’t like myself? Not on your life! But there are things I don’t like, things that I’m working on. I need to lose weight. I need to lower my glucose. I need to sleep better. I need to learn how to relax. I need to have a more consistent and vigorous income. I need to spread both my local and online influence a lot more.

How much do I like myself? Truthfully, I’m probably at 70%. I give myself that high (or low) a rank because I haven’t given up on anything yet. I’m going to the health club. I’m eating a little better. I now have a CPAP to help me sleep better. I have plans and goals with the intention of dealing with both my income and my influence. I’m a major work in progress; I can only hope I have enough time to get there.

Okay now, give it to me straight; you don’t have to give details. How much do you like yourself? Really?

Tags: liking oneself, motivation, Sunday question

32 Comments »

Val:

The truth? At the moment, not much at all, really.

I’m fed up with all sorts of things but mostly about how I seem to have spent the past forty plus years worrying about things I haven’t done or can’t do due to lack of energy. How can anyone waste their lives just worrying? I don’t know, but I seem to have done it.

Mitch Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 2:00 PM

We probably all do it at one time or another , Val. I see things you’ve produced, so obviously you’ve been able to channel enough energy here and there into things. Have you decided to set up a process whereby maybe you will start liking yourself more, like I outlined?

Val Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 5:16 PM

It’s all very much more complicated than it seems, Mitch. But thanks for the thought.

Mitch Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 5:51 PM

True; it’s probably another reason I don’t sleep well.

August 1st, 2010 | 1:22 PM

CeGe:

This is an interesting question Mitch, so I’m willing to take a stab at it. I do like myself. I like myself at least 85% most of the time. However, I am only about 50% content with where I currently am in my life journey. I feel like I have the family/friends solid- but my work and calling are requiring a complete overhaul. It’s something I look forward to though, so I can’t be that unhappy about it. Thanks for asking!

Mitch Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 6:58 PM

Thanks for responding, CeGe. It’s a tough thing to look at your own life and be honest with yourself, and I hope you’ve worked on a plan for yourself.

August 1st, 2010 | 5:57 PM

Moondancer:

I do like myself, I really haven’t narrowed it to a percentage, so cannot give you the specifics regarding that. However, the areas of my life I don’t like, spreading myself too thin, taking time out for myself, letting go of things I don’t need, etc., I do work on improving them.

Having a positive outlook on yourself works wonders, instills confidence, and can help assist you with success not only with our own lives but the way you interact with others.

Mitch Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 6:59 PM

That’s true, Moondancer, and I do that as much as I can. However, I also believe that there are times when we have to look at ourselves realistically as well because without that, we can’t improve on those things we’d like to change.

August 1st, 2010 | 6:18 PM

Ned Carey:

Boy I thought that was going to be an easy answer until I read the post.

I guess we all have things about ourselves that we don’t like. But I have never wanted to be anyone else but me. I may at times be envious of what someone else has but not who they are.

So using your scale I would say typically about 85% but right now it’s lower perhaps 70%

Mitch Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 7:01 PM

That’s very honest, Ned. Truthfully, I’ve never been envious of what someone else had, which seems strange. Instead, I looked at it as something that I would strive for, which I see as a much different thing. These days, the only thing I’m striving for in that fashion is a better body. lol

Ned Carey Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 8:29 PM

God luck, I’m working on the better body thing myself.

August 1st, 2010 | 6:34 PM

Kissie:

Yes, I do like me. Know why? Because I don’t care if I like me or not and I like people like that. I’d rather not be bothered and prefer to be along most of the time and when I’m alone – I’m always with me and I’ve been good company for as long as I knew me. If you knew me, you’d like me too!

Mitch Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 8:58 PM

You’re so funny Kissie! And I guess I’m going to get to know you better now.

Kissie Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 10:14 PM

A friend asked me how I could go to the movies alone. I told her because I always like the movie I pick and if I want to go eat afterwards, you can best believe it’s the consensus.

Mitch Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 10:21 PM

I’ve been to 2 movies my entire life alone. The first I hated being by myself, though I loved the movie. The second, which was just about a month ago, I absolutely had a great time. But it’s rare; I’d much rather stay home.

August 1st, 2010 | 8:41 PM

Rummuser:

I have a great deal to like about myself Mitch, but I wouldn’t say that I don’t have some things that I dislike about myself. The latter are too few to fret about and having identified them, I am working on them. Overall, I think that I am quite satisfied with the way I am.

Mitch Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 8:59 AM

That’s a great way to be, Rummuser. I want to be you when I grow up.

Rummuser Reply:
August 7th, 2010 at 11:41 AM

Great. Now I can pass on your response to all those people who ask me when I will grow up!

Mitch Reply:
August 7th, 2010 at 3:32 PM

That’s funny Rummuser. Glad to help! lol

August 2nd, 2010 | 2:50 AM

Althea Garner:

This one made me laugh because when I read the headline I thought: “Well, of COURSE, I like myself – you have to like YOU, before anyone else can like you!” But the more I read of your post, the more I saw (of myself) that I didn’t like! (Should have quit while I was ahead!!!)

See, I not too crazy about my ‘chicken legs’, especially since my knees started to ‘smile’ and I have a complex about my arms, too! I could certainly stand to lose about 40 lbs (although I have dropped ten, recently) and well, the older I get, the more my body heads in a ‘southward’ direction!

But, hey! No-one’s perfect and our bodies were never designed to last forever, right? We were born imperfect! Like my son says: whoever decided that a men’s nuts should be on the OUTSIDE, wasn’t a very good engineer, so I guess we all have defects even at our most perfect!

As far as character and personality is concerned, I’m pretty satisfied, but only because I am a reflection of those around me. The better my company, the better my disposition and therefore the more I have to offer others. As long as I am giving to others, I feel that my life is complete ~ even if my knees DO smile!

Mitch Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 9:02 AM

Good stuff, Althea. You know, it wasn’t meant as a negative post at all, and I’m glad everyone’s taken it in the spirit the question was asked. Self help gurus always say to only look at the good things about yourself, but I believe a dose of reality never hurt anyone.

August 2nd, 2010 | 7:36 AM

Jake:

I analyze myself everyday, it is better to be done by me that from other people. I like myself in the morning and usually hate myself in the afternoon. Twice the same every 3rd Sunday of the month.

Mitch Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 9:00 AM

LOL! I actually really hate myself in the mornings and evenings, but in the afternoon I’m too tired to care.

August 2nd, 2010 | 8:20 AM

Keith:

I think that it is against human nature to be 100% happy with yourself; for some reason human instinct defaults to self criticism. The way I see it, no matter who someone is, everyone has things that they want to change about themselves. If they changed those things, they would just find more things that they would want to change, and the cycle would continue.

I think that if you keep that in mind, its easier to accept yourself – the good and the bad. I would say that I like myself 100%. That may not be true 100% of the time, and that’s not to say that there are not plenty of things that I wouldn’t change about myself, but making those changes is the journey of life.

Mitch Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 3:09 PM

You’re a good man, Keith. You’re right, we’ll always find something to dislike, but when there are so many things, well, you’ve got to work on something. Otherwise, your life devolves into an endless stream of go to work, come home, watch TV and go to bed. Whether it’s us or something else, we all need to continue to strive for something. That helps us like ourselves, I figure.

August 2nd, 2010 | 1:27 PM

Ching Ya:

Now this is an interesting question to ponder – generally speaking I do like myself, I’m thankful for everything I own, all the experiences and ability I have, although far from being perfect or an expert. I still have major rooms for improvement, I used to be very hard on myself but now I’m hoping to be myself instead of forcing to be someone I’m not. Liking ownself is a good thing and that doesn’t mean we are better than anybody, we just hope to be acquainted with ourselves more – we do stuck with ourselves for the rest of our lives right? Then let’s make this easier.

@wchingya
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Mitch Reply:
August 4th, 2010 at 8:51 PM

Hi Ching Ya,

It actually comes down to the difference between “loving” ourselves and “liking” ourselves. We’ve always been told we have to love ourselves for others to love us; no one ever really talked about like all that often. And it’s not that I don’t like many aspects of myself, but if I get caught up in dealing with only the things about myself that I like then I can’t progress.

August 4th, 2010 | 6:10 PM

Rose:

I do like my inner self. I’m very confident with who I am. However the way I feel about my outer self needs work. I have a very negative outlook towards my looks and my body.

Ned Carey Reply:
August 4th, 2010 at 11:06 PM

It is funny how our perceptions of ourselves can be so different from how the world perceives us. Rose if you really look like your Gravitar you have no reason to have a negative view of your looks.

Mitch Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 12:00 AM

I think we all have outer issues, Rose. What’s funny is that I meet some of these women at the health club who look absolutely stunning, and they all hate something about their bodies as well.

August 4th, 2010 | 9:24 PM

Aaron:

I can’t possibly come up with a percentage the way you and some others did. However I can honestly say I like myself about 50% as much as my daughter likes me, 75% as much as my wife does, 95% as much as my younger son, and 125 – 175% more than my oldest son appears to like me

Seriously though, I get mad at myself for some past decisions I’ve made, nothing that can’t be corrected in time since the main damage was financial. As far as the physical aspect, I know in order to stay driven I can’t let myself be happy with my health and physique. If I thought for a moment I reached my idea of physical perfection my drive would diminish. At times I’m satisfied with certain health aspects but never content with the aesthetics.

Mitch Reply:
August 5th, 2010 at 8:46 AM

That’s pretty honest stuff, Aaron. The financial can hurt for sure; I know about that one. I really know about the health one, unfortunately. lol

August 5th, 2010 | 12:38 AM

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