Only Concern Yourself With What You Can Control
Posted by Mitch Mitchell on Jun 8, 2011
I was on a roll last week. After reading a post on Ileane’s Basic Blog Tips I was inspired to write a post titled Is Your Work Worth Nothing. It seems that, for this person, just because he didn’t understand something he felt it prudent that the people doing SEO work for him should be paid based on results and not based on the fact that they did the work. Of course when I asked him if he wanted to be paid that way he said no, but that SEO work is different; no it’s not.
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My comments on that post and then my post here got me an invite to write a guest post for Ileane, which I’ll do when asked, and I came up with one I called 5 Ways Your Blog Might Be Irritating People. That post got a lot of responses, and I appreciate everyone who participated; it was a lot of fun. And I didn’t gripe about anything I haven’t griped about here every once in awhile, but it ended up being a pretty long post; I’m glad Ileane was okay with that.
I had been on a pattern of criticism, all of which started with how my grandmother was treated while a patient in the hospital. Oh, people were nice, but overall competence wasn’t up to standard; being a health care consultant, I know. I even wrote a small bit of that criticism here.
Funny thing about criticism; once you’ve opened up your eye and started looking for things that aren’t going well, you get really good at it, focused on it, and suddenly all it seems you’re seeing is incompetence everywhere. And man, it’s easy to find. It’s a place that’s easy to get into, but in the long run it might not be all that much fun.
Hence, the day after writing that post, being on Twitter and complaining about the weather. Yeah, the weather. lol In central New York, it’s like we jumped from winter to summer and totally skipped spring except for the rainy part. The temperature hit 92° (33C), and I’m sorry but that’s just way too hot for me. It was already over 80° around 9:30, and I was griping about that as well because I had hoped to cool the house off before it got really hot.
That’s when one of my online friends, Shirley George Frazier of Solo Business Marketing said: “Concentrate on the things you can control, and the rest will fall in line”. Goodness, what a thing to say to me at that moment. She hadn’t known what I’d been going through and what I’d been like, yet it was a very timely statement. I needed to see it and hear it; heck! Of course, being cool, I wrote back with “You mean I can’t control the weather?” She wrote back “Controlling the weather — something to add to your wish list!”
Funny lady, but the point was taken. It’s easy to complain about things, but harder to think about those things that we could actually do something about. There were a lot of things I was complaining about that I actually did something about, but others that I knew there wasn’t anything I could do. In an odd way I didn’t get all that depressed about any of it, but I also wasn’t as content and happy as I could have been, as I had been before my grandmother got hurt.
An important lesson for those of us who blog is to not get so into complaining about things that we don’t try to fix and resolve what we can. For all the complaints I wrote in the post on Ileane’s blog, I could control only what I do on my blog, and I don’t do any of the things I find irritating. For what happened to my grandmother I had a meeting with a representative at the hospital, and so far have also ended up talking to a couple of department directors on how things could have been improved. I feel good about that because I know that everything I say, if they fix it, will help the next patient that they encounter.
If you’re going to complain, do something about it as well; otherwise, maybe channel those thoughts towards something more positive. I think I can say that most of the time when I complain about something I’m also about to do something about it as well, or have done something about it, like when I talked about our smartphone issues. Are you making sure you’re doing something about those things that irritate you? Are some of those things on this tolerations list (it’s a pdf)?
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Mitch Mitchell




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It is so easy to spiral into the negative and stay there. Sometimes a simple gesture is all one needs to put us back on the right track.
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 8th, 2011 at 4:53 PM
And that negative thing is just so powerful, isn’t it? That’s why I’m glad to see the positive stuff you’re doing next weekend against cancer.
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Lee
Tossing It Out
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 8th, 2011 at 8:22 PM
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 9th, 2011 at 8:21 AM
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 9th, 2011 at 8:24 AM
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Bryan S Reply:
June 9th, 2011 at 5:22 AM
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 9th, 2011 at 8:25 AM
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 10th, 2011 at 6:42 AM
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 10th, 2011 at 6:43 AM
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And she is also very blessed to have someone like you stand up for her.
In my dealings with hospitals and other care facilities over the last 15 years I’ve learned a very important lesson. Many of the staff are over-worked and some can become irresponsible at times. You see, my Dad was bed-ridden for 10 years before he passed away and he was hospitalized many times during that time period. I’ve seen some of the worse nurses and doctors and I’ve seen some of the absolute best! Even the best will pay more attention to patients that have loved ones who care enough to visit and express concern.
Remember, doctors and nurses are only human, and they can make mistakes too – so ask questions! But if you really want to make sure your loved one is getting special attention – show up with that beautiful smile of yours. Ask the nurses if they need help, and show your appreciation (even when they suck) tell them what a great job they’re doing. Even make friends with the orderly that comes to clean the room and give him some praise too. If there was ever a time to “brown-nose” this is it. It can go a long way toward improving the overall level of patient care and attention she gets.
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 10th, 2011 at 4:38 PM
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My husband says this to me all the time, well not in the same words but along the same lines. I stress about everything it’s just something I do. He on the other hand is the opposite, it drives me nuts. Makes sense though, you can’t control the weather so why be upset about it. Thanks for sharing
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 12th, 2011 at 1:59 AM
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We can’t stop criticism, we can’t make everyone doing things up to standard. But we can put our share in overall progress and well being of this Universe!
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 13th, 2011 at 1:35 AM
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That often leads them to depression that could have easily be avoided simply by practicing what you just blogged about here. It’s not easy to get in that habit but with constant practice, it’s possible.
Thanks for driving the point home with your own personal experiences.
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 13th, 2011 at 11:51 PM
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Hope she’s doing well!
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Mitch Mitchell Reply:
June 15th, 2011 at 9:54 PM
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