I’m slightly going off topic here because, well, I feel a need to urge people to do just what it is they need to do for themselves and their lives.
Earlier today, a friend of mine called (she doesn’t ever read this blog, so of course she’ll be checking on it pretty soon after this) because she just needed to vent; that’s one of her best phrases. She’s been having a tough go of it lately; actually, she’s been having a tough go of it since I’ve met her. The thing is, though I’ve never told her this directly (though I have said it), almost every single piece of it is her fault. I sympathize with her only because she’s my friend, and for no other reason.
During her rant, she said she’s done everything possible to get things to go in her favor over the years. She asks why good things don’t happen for good people, but they always seem to happen to bad people. She said she’s always trying to think of the positive side of things, but how hard it is because of all the bad stuff that’s gone on in her life. On and on and on it went. Today I was just listening, but I was chomping at the bit. I really wanted to say something, but there are those days when you don’t want to beat up on someone, even if the way I beat up on people is usually fairly kind. I will tell people the way it is, but I’m not brutal.
I’m going to tell a personal story here, if I may. Back in 1991, I lost a very good job. Years later I learned the truth about losing the job, and in reality it had nothing to do with me, but at the time it happens you start to lose a little bit of confidence in yourself. You battle and battle yourself, but sometimes it just doesn’t come through to you.
I was lucky. At the time, the economy was about as bad as it is now, and that means unemployment was extended from the norm of 26 weeks in New York state to an extra 28 weeks. I also sued my past employer, and based on the law they had to pay me during a portion of it. So I had money coming in, but it made it difficult to find work because at any time I had to be available to leave for court, and it would have been hard to get any new employer to go for something like that. I also had problems getting work because the job I’d lost was at a high level. Those employers that did contact me and interview me wouldn’t hire me because they didn’t think I’d stay at the jobs all that long; you know, that “over-qualified” thing.
I was out of work for almost 18 months. It wasn’t pretty, to be sure. What ended up happening is that the judge took the case and said he’d be making his decision. At that point, my past employer didn’t have to pay me anymore. Unemployment was over with also. I had no money coming in, and I was living alone. I had no prospects for real work, and I was depressed. I was in a bad way, and a bad spot. I was within 30 days of having to make a very critical decision; at age 34, it looked like I was going to have to totally swallow my pride, give up my apartment, and move to another city to live with my parents.
I decided that just wasn’t in the cards. I was going to get work, no matter what it was, and I was going to stay in my own apartment and work my way back out of my problems. The first thing I did was call some of my past contacts; I didn’t have many of them, but I hopped on the phone and called them all, saying I needed work. The second thing I did was go up to the closest gas station and apply to work there. My thinking was that if I could get at least a part time job I’d have a little bit of money coming in, and it would allow me to continue looking for other things, as I was putting in for second shift, and if I needed to work temporary jobs in the meantime during the day then I’d do that also. My main goal was to stay in my apartment; I figured food would come, and my utilities were already totally covered. And, if need be, I could walk to work, as it was just down the street.
I got the part time job within an hour of applying. Two hours later, I got called for a contract job in the city, full time, though no benefits. I didn’t care; it wasn’t great pay, but it was pay. And it was going to be enough to pay my bills, and if I budgeted well enough I’d at least be able to eat. Matter of fact, since I was working at the gas station, I got a discount on their hot foods, so eating wasn’t going to be a problem either.
Back then, I didn’t have anyone to really talk to about my problems, but I did have this resolve that said I would do whatever it took to be independent, and whatever it took to take care of myself. I have that same resolve today as a consultant, and it’s a good thing since I’ve yet to make it at a big time internet marketer. 🙂 It’s a tough road at times being independent, and yet I’ve shown every time that when the chips are down I’ll do whatever it takes to get some money coming in the door, and usually I’m lucky that it’s not chump change, as I like living fairly well.
Back to my friend. Her problem is that she spends all of her time saying what she “can’t” do and “doesn’t feel comfortable” doing, and that she’s “only qualified to do one thing”. She hasn’t hit that wall of clarity yet that says you do whatever you need to do to sustain yourself so you can hopefully one day get to do what you really want to do.
I believe in the laws of attraction, and in this case if you keep telling yourself you can’t do something, then that’s just what you won’t be able to do. If you spend your time thinking about getting back at someone you feel wronged you, then that’s all you’re going to think about and you won’t be able to progress. If all you can think about are bad decisions you made in your life, or why life keeps picking on you, or that you’re entitled to something else just because, well, whatever your reasoning is, then that’s where you’re always going to be stuck mentally, and if that’s the case then you might as well file for welfare and Medicaid now and just give up because you’re never going anywhere positive. I believe in the laws of attraction as they were discussed in the movie The Secret; what you concentrate on, positively or negatively, you will bring into your life.
My bet, in this day and age, is if my livelihood depended on it I’d probably have figured out the way of making lots of money on the internet. But I haven’t given up on this dream; lucky for me, I will always do whatever it takes to sustain myself and my family until something I really want takes off. Folks, it’s out there for all of us if we can only maintain the proper mindset. Think positively, and your actions will be positive, and eventually positive things will happen to you. Try to define your goals; check out this post, download the survey, and see where you stand as far as goals you want to achieve in life.
It’s not bad people that succeed; it’s driven people that succeed. Sometimes those driven people are jerks; deal with it. Be responsible for your own life; if you are, you’ll be amazed at what you can achieve.