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5 Ways To Deal With Problems Positively

Posted by on Jul 31, 2013

Let’s face this fact; things don’t always go the way we want them to go. It seems that at least once every day something goes awry in some fashion. Sometimes it’s a small thing, sometimes it’s a big thing. None of us are immune.

Happy lane
Brett Davies via Compfight

Truthfully, there’s little that can be done about the big things. Someone you know expires, no matter how it happened, you’re not going to be prepared for it. Your house falls down because of an earthquake, who can be blamed for something like that? Major crises affect every person in different ways, and I’m not going to minimize how awful things like that can be.

Luckily, the majority of negative things that happen to us aren’t all that big a deal. Sometimes we make them big deals, but I’m of the opinion that’s on us. I know because I’ve run the gamut of both. When it seems like I’m in a bad pattern every little thing that happens feels like things are piling on and they’re never going to stop. When I’m in a good pattern things roll off my shoulders, and even if I get upset it doesn’t last long. That’s a better place to be; believe me.

In that vein I decided to share 5 little tips on how to deal with problems in a positive manner, and then I’ve included a video that I know some folks will say they liked but aren’t going to watch it; sigh… lol Hey, it is what it is right? These will be short; let’s get started:

1. When something happens, gauge how much you or someone else got hurt. If no one got physically hurt or received mortally bad news, then it’s not so bad.

2. Does it involve money? If so, is it immediate money or money at some further time? If you can afford it then what’s the problem other than a short term diminishing of your funds? If you can’t afford it worrying won’t help you figure out how to get the money if it’s something you really need.

3. Try to find a way to view situations as a story you can tell other people later. I do that one often, even if I’m a part of the story at the time. It’s hard to remain angry when your mind is on something else, such as trying to remember stuff.

4. Try to find something to smile about. Even serious events can sometimes be diffused with a smile here and there. You comfort people by trying to make them feel better, and if it works for them why can’t it work for you?

5. Remember that you’re never really alone. You always have someone to talk to, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or someone on social media. Goodness, one of the best things about a blog is being able to occasionally get your thoughts out into the open and then having your visitors help you mentally. There’s always someone around who wants to help you feel better; the world really is a much better place than the news makes it out to be sometimes.

That’s all I have… well, except for the video. Let me know your thoughts below; now enjoy my video, even if I’m not in it.
 


 

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25 Comments »

All five suggestions are good and I think that most of us use them in our lives. Except for those unfortunate ones who are unable to share with others before finding solutions.

I have stayed in worse hotel rooms than that. It is just the plaster that is coming down in the video. I once got a shock and could have well got electrocuted in a German inn where something had happened to the wiring and the wall was conduction electricity. The lady on duty could not speak English and I had a hard time explaining what the problem was. I too was shifted to another room and the owner treated me to a free night’s stay for that unfortunate experience.
Rummuser recently posted…Denial.My Profile

July 31st, 2013 | 11:11 AM

Ramana, I’ve certainly had other experiences over the years with hotels, but this one probably caught me off guard more because I was in the room watching it happen while I was doing an online presentation. Still, I didn’t get upset or anything, just marveled at it all.

July 31st, 2013 | 10:49 PM

This is well said, Mitch. I come from a family of drama queens, and the older I got, the more I realized that all the hooting and hollering when things don’t go your way, or the whole “woe is me” attitude does very little to help whatever the situation is…usually.

Unfortunately, some people are rewarded for throwing tantrums or pity parties. As long as it keeps working for them, I’m sure they’ll keep doing it.

Now I see in the annotation that you didn’t get moved (sorry!). Do you think they would have moved you if you came out to the front desk yelling at them?

Frankly I would handle it the way you did, and usually can see the humor in a non-ideal situation. As long as that ceiling didn’t fall on ME, that is ๐Ÿ™‚
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July 31st, 2013 | 9:56 PM

John, they would have moved me if I’d asked for it. I actually was asked if I wanted to move and I thought I’d have to, but I really didn’t know the magnitude of the issue upstairs. But they got it repaired, stopped the leaking, patched the ceiling, dried the floor, and all is new once again. And I’m glad because it would have taken at least 2 hours to move everything; ugh!

July 31st, 2013 | 10:51 PM

Great post Mitchell as things go wrong almost daily – they won’t stop until we are gone. I bet you will get moved into a better room ๐Ÿ™‚ I try to take most of these type of things with a grain of salt. Life is too short to get all upset over it. I hope things are going well for the rest of your trip. I love those 5 star days – wish we could have more of them!
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August 1st, 2013 | 5:22 AM

Thanks Lisa. Actually they didn’t move me. They sealed the link, smoothed it out, and did something to the rug to dry it out. The room is fine and I’m happy because I really didn’t want to move. And yes, I think all of us would love to have more 5-star days. ๐Ÿ™‚

August 3rd, 2013 | 12:56 AM

Yes, I agree with top all five suggestions, I know because Iโ€™ve run the gamut of both. When it seems like I am in a bad pattern every little thing that happens feels like things are piling on and theyโ€™re never going to stop.
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August 1st, 2013 | 8:23 AM

We’ve all been there Michael, but luckily most of the time we can find our way out of it. And when we can’t, then we ride the bad wave until we’re ready for the good one again.

August 3rd, 2013 | 12:57 AM

Good tips, Mitch. And I loved John’s comment about coming from a family of drama queens! I think some of the way we deal with things is what we have learned from our family. My family were not drama queens and so I am quite balanced when anything happens.

And what did you say about not being in the video? Untrue, just to prove I did watch it! It’s very frustrating when can’t get access to your sites, I’ve had that happen before, and being totally non techie I panic massively. Once it was due to hacking but often it is a server issue and I just have to visit the website to check on latest info to see what’s going on.

Enjoy the journey.

Mandy
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August 1st, 2013 | 9:12 AM

Thanks for your comment Mandy. My mother used to be a major league drama queen, but finally the years have mellowed her drastically; either that or her memory is slipping enough so she doesn’t worry as much as before. lol Glad you watched the video; I might be getting close to 10 views by now.

August 3rd, 2013 | 12:59 AM

Yep, there’s no point getting all upset about stuff because getting upset doesn’t resolve anything. Things could always have been worse. That leak could have been over your bed is one example. Another would be someone in the room above having sex and falling through the ceiling. Then again, that would be more on the funny side of things. ๐Ÿ˜‰
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August 1st, 2013 | 9:58 AM

Sire, your head always goes to the sex thing. lol Actually, I was more worried about the leak destroying my technology; now that would have probably irked me to no end.

August 3rd, 2013 | 1:00 AM

Yeah, it does have a tendency to do that, I don’t know why. ๐Ÿ˜‰
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August 3rd, 2013 | 2:17 AM
Scott Craighead:

I’m the bottled up type. I try my best to look past negativity and just have a sense of humor about things that bother me. But when things become to much (very rarely) I turn to the bottle, which is my weakness. But I haven’t drank in a long long time. Thanks for touching on this subject. This just goes to show me that your a decent person at heart, which is good! Seems like that’s in short supply with people as of late. – Scott Craighead
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August 1st, 2013 | 6:55 PM

I’ve never had a drink Scott so I can’t fully appreciate that struggle, but I do tend to go towards sweets, which of course brings me down if I have too many being diabetic. But I don’t stay in bad periods all that long most of the time, and the tips I shared here helps a lot. As for decent people, I tend to believe there’s a lot more than we think there are, but sometimes it takes something big for us to find that out.

August 3rd, 2013 | 1:02 AM

Nice one Mitch – it made me think about how I approach difficult situations and I reckon I use many of your methods. I also find if I force myself to think of the positive things associated with the negative experience it helps a bit. ๐Ÿ™‚
Roz Bennetts recently posted…Piglet & Pooh Plan a Heffalump PitMy Profile

August 2nd, 2013 | 2:51 PM

Roz, I can truthfully tell you that thinking of positive things doesn’t really work for me strangely enough. What works is trying to see a situation and evaluate it from a storyteller’s point of view. If I can do that, then I’m good; if I can’t separate myself from it, then I have to ride it out for awhile before I’m ready to get to that point again.

August 3rd, 2013 | 1:04 AM

Hi Mitch,

Thanks for sharing the story and the video. It is, indeed, all about how you decide to handle the negative things in life – and the positive ones as well, by the way. In my line of business, we deal with a lot of different people in different and sometimes quite stressful situations. Often you get the sense that some people flourish where other people wither, simply because they have cultivated the ability to mentally put things in the right perspective.

August 4th, 2013 | 9:12 AM

That’s an interesting perspective Christian. I’d have to agree that for most people they’d have to acquire the ability. I’m there most of the time but I do find that there are times when the emotions are kind of raw and I’m ready to react badly to certain stimuli. Luckily I don’t live in that place often.

August 5th, 2013 | 10:51 PM

Hi Mitch,

You’re right, of course. What I find useful is to think about such things from the perspective of ‘nudging’ yourself to see the positive side more, to engage with things in a more constructive manner. You don’t always do things quite as you might have liked, but you can try to do things better each day–and you can get yourself into good habits where it becomes easier to react in a positive way to potentially annoying stimuli. I think your video is a great example of that. It allows you to see things from the “outside” and not take it too seriously or get too worked up about it. That’s a very good habit right there!

August 6th, 2013 | 5:42 AM

Thanks for being one of the few to actually have watched the video Christian. lol I think you’re right, habits are great for helping one handle pretty much anything.

August 8th, 2013 | 10:17 PM
Nuno Isitemiz:

I mostly prefer to chug couple bottles of beer, but these 5 are not too bad either. Lol.

Thanks for the tips.
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August 11th, 2013 | 12:44 PM

I don’t drink so beer won’t do it for me.

August 11th, 2013 | 9:26 PM
Steve Borek:

If you look back five years from now, will whatever happen to you seem significant? Probably not.

Turn the page to the next chapter. Life’s very, very short.
Steve Borek recently posted…Career Coaching โ€“ Now What? 90 Days To A New Life DirectionMy Profile

September 4th, 2013 | 10:24 PM

Good share Steve. I like the “probably not” thing; I’d hope that’s always the case but I know better.

September 4th, 2013 | 11:13 PM
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